Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Do You Work Here?

So I get to work at 6:50 am this morning because I'm setting up the obituaries today. I park in the lot because I'm here 3 fucking hrs, so I figured I might as well save me a walk from the parking structure on this cold, windy morning. So I walk in with a guy (I didn't recognize, probably from the editorial dept)and he uses his card to open the door, I grab the door and walk in behind him. "Do you work here?" he says. I'm kinda cranky when I'm at work before the sun rises, so I look at him and say "It 6:50 in the morning, do you think I'd be here if I didn't fucking work here?" he said "Good point" and let me in, I mean really? WOW some people are STUPID!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Drunken Bliss...Bartenders Bash 2002...a blast from BGs past!

If you could imagine a drunken utopia, it may be something like this. You wake up at 8am in a hotel on the fuckin ocean. From 10am-2pm you can drink ALL you want for free! Every liquor & beer company imaginable would be at the event, basically MAKING You drink all you can! Well this place is called bartenders bash! Basically its an annual event in April/May and its the servers time to get served. We get people drunk all the time, now its our turn. Well I attended this Merry festival in 2002. With Supertiff, Erika Van, and Dave. Here is how it went down...

Our flight was at something ridiculous like 5am on the day we had to leave. Oh and it left from Toledo. So Dave's Mom took Supertiff, Dave and I to Toledo at like 3am. Erika Van Met us later. We get Toledo Airport and we check our bags and I get searched. They search ALL My shit. Now this was my 1st time traveling after 9/11. It wasnt as bad as everyone said, or so I thought. So from Toledo, we get on a flight to Chicago. This flight was PURE HELL! It was only like 45 mins, but it was in a brutal thunderstorm. There was TONS of turbulence and at one point we even dropped like 15 feet, it scared the shit outta me, but Supertiff was in bad shape. She was terrified. We arrive in Chicago, to surprisingly nice weather, we get our bags, and continue on our merry way to get on the plane. I get hardcore searched again, I'm like WTF? But hey its security, its all good. From there we jump on a plane to Miami. We get to Miami and its GORGEOUS! And speaking of gorgeous, we meet Erika Van there as well. From Miami we jump on a plane to the keys. Now this is a fucking Buddy Holly death plane. it has room for like 15 people, it has 2 propellers, and the fucking pilot, basically rode with us. he didn't even have to make announcements on the intercom, he just said shit to us. Well we get to the keys and pickup our rental car. A 2002 Red Mustang Convertible! We roll down A1A to the keys (Isla Morada) and it was breath taking. But as we were rolling I could help think about True Lies, when they blew up the bridge. We all got sunburned as fuck on that car trip.

We get to our hotel and meet the other people that we knew there, Big Steph, her now husband Chris(?) and other great people. We drank ALOT and went to bed. The next morning the girls are up at 8, me & Dave sleep in a bit (til like 9) it is Bartenders bash Day 1! We get there at right about 10 when it opens. We are furnishing check stubs that prove we DO infact work at a restaurant, and therefore can be served! We get in and it CRAZY! first of all its right on the ocean. its a great location. 2nd its at a hotel, so people actually stayed there to get DRUNK AS FUCK! Third ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE! Literally EVERY liquor & beer manufacturer you can think of is there. Some give you shots, some give you mixed drinks, other give you beer, its all about WHAT YOU LIKE! Well 2:00 rolls around and we are SHITFACED. We somehow got home (meaning someone drove) also we must've got Burger King because it was all over the hotel room. Well I wake up at about 7:30pm in a haze, hungover as fuck! I'm offered a beer, but decline, after about 20 mins of being called a pussy etc., I decide to man up, it was rejuvenation! we roll to the bar which is open till 4am and party our asses off! The next morning w wakeup, bartender's bash, go to sleep wake up hungover and go again! This night however was hilarious! A friend of ours JS was there. JS and me always had a bit of flirtyness and due to our CRAZY state of drunkassness when we were at the bar, we decided we'd have sex. We go on the boardwalk and hook up. As we are dressing up I mention that I'm a bit lower on cash at this point of the game then I thought Id be. me & JS came up with a master plan. what we decided to do is tell people we were together. I would "let" horny guys make out with my "girlfriend" and in turn get free drinks! It WORKED from about 10 p.m. on If you could imagine a drunken utopia, it may be something like this. You wake up at 8am in a hotel on the fucking ocean. From 10am-2pm you can drink ALL you want for free! Every liquor & beer company imaginable would be at the event, basically MAKING You drink all you can! Well this place is called bartenders bash! Basically its an annual event in April/May and its the servers time to get served. We get people drunk all the time, now its our turn. Well I attended this Merry festival in 2002. With Supertiff, Erika Van, and Dave. Here is how it went down...

Our flight was at something ridiculous like 5am on the day we had to leave. Oh and it left from Toledo. So Dave's Mom took Supertiff, Dave and I to Toledo at like 3am. Erika Van Met us later. We get Toledo Airport and we check our bags and I get searched. They search ALL My shit. Now this was my 1st time traveling after 9/11.it wasn't as bad as everyone said, or so I thought. So from Toledo, we get on a flight to Chicago. This flight was PURE HELL! It was only like 45 mins, but it was in a brutal thunderstorm. There was TONS of turbulence and at one point we even dropped like 15 feet, it scared the shit outta me, but Supertiff was in bad shape. She was terrified. We arrive in Chicago, to surprisingly nice weather, we get our bags, and continue on our merry way to get on the plane. I get hardcore searched again, I'm like WTF? But hey its security, its all good. From there we jump on a plane to Miami. what do you know I GET SEARCHED AGAIN! I'm actually pissed at this point, but understand its random. We get to Miami and its GORGEOUS! And speaking of gorgeous, we meet Erika Van there as well. From Miami we jump on a plane to the keys. Now this is a fucking Buddy Holly death plane. it has room for like 15 people, it has 2 propellers, and the fucking pilot, basically rode with us. He didn't even have to make announcements on the intercom, he just said shit to us. Well we get to the keys and pickup our rental car. A 2002 Red Mustang Convertible! We roll down A1A to the keys (Isla Morada) and it was breath taking. But as we were rolling I could help think about True Lies, when they blew up the bridge. We all got sunburned as fuck on that car trip.

We get to our hotel and meet the other people that we knew there, Big Steph, her now husband Chris(?) and other great people. We drank ALOT and went to bed. The next morning the girls are up at 8, me & Dave sleep in a bit (til like 9) it is Bartenders bash Day 1! We get there at right about 10 when it opens. We are furnishing check stubs that prove we DO infact work at a restaurant, and therefore can be served! We get in and it CRAZY! first of all its right on the ocean. its a great location. 2nd its at a hotel, so people actually stayed there to get DRUNK AS FUCK! Third ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE! Literally EVERY liquor & beer manufacturer you can think of is there. Some give you shots, some give you mixed drinks, other give you beer, its all about WHAT YOU LIKE! Well 2:00 rolls around and we are SHITFACED. We somehow got home (meaning someone drove) also we must've got Burger King because it was all over the hotel room. Well I wake up at about 7:30pm in a haze, hung-over as fuck! I'm offered a beer, but decline, after about 20 mins of being called a pussy etc., I decide to man up, it was rejuvenation! We roll to the bar which is open till 4am and party our asses off! The next morning we wakeup, bartender's bash, go to sleep wake up hung-over and go again! This night however was hilarious! A friend of ours JS was there. JS and me always had a bit of flirtiness and due to our CRAZY state of drunkassness when we were at the bar, we decided we'd have sex. We go on the boardwalk and hook up. As we are dressing up I mention that I'm a bit lower on cash at this point of the game then I thought Id be. me & JS came up with a master plan. what we decided to do is tell people we were together. I would "let" horny guys make out with my "girlfriend" and in turn get free drinks! I NEVER paid for another drink. It was great! The next day we go out on the sand bar! I'm hung-over as shit from my 15 captain & Cokes I drank and am having a tough time, I had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea from dehydration mixed with hangover! I uttered the now famous phrase: "I wish I had a tampon for my ass!" But we were going on the sand bar anyways! The sand bar is a BUNCH of boats all tied together that resemble a city. There are TONS of boats and everyone is willing to give out a beer or a cocktail, nice people & GREAT times. After the sand bar we went the bars again. That night also Dave hooked up w/ this BAD ASS blonde chick. The problem was he disappeared from earth, no one knew where he was or who he was with (besides the hot chick). we eventually passed out w/ worry. OK it was from alcohol. The next morning we wake up and No Dave. His phone is dead. We have to leave the hotel at 11, well about 10:15 Dave rolls up. Mildly sunburned! He had to walk 5 miles. He left at 6am, but he successfully hooked up with said chick. The ULTIMATE walk of shame!

From Bartender's bash we roll to Key West. Hop in the mustang and TAKE OFF! We have this AMAZING 3 bdrm condo on the ocean! Literally 50 feet from the ocean! We had a bad ass deck, and a huge tub w/ jets, and since it was an actual house, we had a kitchen which allowed us to go buy groceries. So we did! Got lunch meat, frozen pizzas snacks and booze! We start with a few cocktails and eventually end up in the hot tub, with PIZZA! LMAO! One night we go out to downtown Key West, we hit Maragritaville for a Cheeseburger in Paradise and a Margarita. Then hit the bars! They have COOL ass bars there! Almost all of them have a outdoor chillspot! Well while there I meet this Gorgeous blonde girl. The only problem is she has this friend...Shes huge! Shes UGLY (huge teeth gap) and she a fucking bitch! Its the trifecta. Its a guaranteed cock block! Anticipating this I go find Dave! I'm like "DUDE! I need you to jump on the grenade" Hes like where is she, because he has EVER the open mind. when I point her out he's like "DUDE, if she was JUST fat or JUST ugly or JUST a bitch I could do it, but thats not a grenade, thats a fucking atom bomb!" Well eventually we party, and get them to come to our condo! I manage to get a little bit of play before the grenade bitched and they had to go.

We head out the next night again, and who do we see at the bar but hot chick and the grenade. We party it up and hot chick is drinkin her ass off, she was drinkin CUPS of Jaeger straight! no ice, no mix, just straight. Well by the end of the night she is the DRUNKEST person I have EVER seen. She cant walk talk or move! The time comes to leave and Dave gets her in a cab, now Key west is a SMALL island no move than 5 miles a cross, the cab ride took 35 mins, hot chick kept puking, and having to pee etc! While Dave is handling the hot chick, I'm stuck with the grenade, she seems to believe she has a limo coming to pick her up! She is also drunk as fuck and I decided Id add annoying to fat, ugly & bitchy! Finally I'm like "Look! you can stay here and wait for your limo thats never gonna come, or you cant take a fucking cab" she finally decides to get in and we drop her off at the hotel. I get back to my condo, and hot drunk chick is passed out in my room. She puked A LOT a WHOLE LOT but fortunately it was in the bathroom, so no crazy mess! well since this chick was in my room (2 beds) I had to look out for her, I was afraid she was gonna fucking die. Kept her turned so if she did puke she wouldn't of ended up in a Jimi Hendrix choke on your own vomit type scene. The next morning she gets up. She was like "Did we hook up?" I told her "No, I may be a lot of things but one thing I'm not is a rapist" she thanked me but said that "Its too bad we didn't hookup" I was like WOW!. The last night was chill. we hit the bars and since our plane left at 5am, and the bars closed at 4am, we went RIGHT from the bar to the airport. This was QUITE a scene. There were tons of us and EVERYONE was drunk! Just shitfaced! Apparently we all had the same idea! The flight back was fine, and we arrived at the Toledo airport & my dad KG picked us up. Supertiff's luggage never came, so that sucked, but other than that it was a Great time, with great people who Ill never forget it!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Bye Bye 2008, Get the Fuck Out and Good Riddance...

2008 Sucked..I mean REALLY REALLY Sucked. 2007 was great, it was supposed to be a great year, but everything came tumbling down. In 2007, I got married, got a house, Here are some of the awful memories ill never forget...Stupid 2008.

Got Divorced. Me and Bridgette just didn't work out married. We both had issues that ended up being too much to handle. We never should've gotten married, it just seemed like the next step. We were together 4 yrs, lived together, and we were in love, but in the end, we are just better as friends. The friendship isn't really blossoming right now, but over time I think it can work.

The divorce led to us having to sell our house. Which we are gonna lose our ass on! We are doing a short sale which is gonna mildly fuck up our credit for a few years. The bitch of it is that I spent all of my savings on bonds on the down payment, I could've used that money to pay off debt. Another thing that's a problem too is that I NEVER REALLY WANTED THE HOUSE. I knew I couldn't afford it but I knew it'd be a good investment, so I went for it. It wasn't a good investment at all. It may of been if we kept it for longer than 2 years. The market is garbage, Ypsi house are losing 2% OF THEIR VALUE EVERY MONTH, so its rough now. Hopefully we can get this house sold, and move the fuck on.

I lost two dear friends this year. Mike Flemming and Tom Snell. Mike got killed by a drunk driver in Aug in Milwaukee WI. he was a dear family friend. Tom died on a ride in Dallas from a massive heart attack at a friends house. Both of these men were great family men, and both were amazing people. Both deaths were so tragic. We will never forget you guys! RIP gentlemen.

UM football went 3-9, the worst season ever. We didn't go to a bowl game for the 1st time in 33 years. We lost to MSU, OSU and Notre Dame, It was terrible! Now I don't blame coach Rod yet, he was ill suited to run his offense. The team will be good in a few years, UM will be back to national prominence soon!

The Lions went 0-16. The Worst team in the history of the NFL. They never gave up but they just weren't good enough. I blame the ownership, the Fords are AWFUL. With them owning the team, we will never win anything, they just don't give a fuck.

Now it wasn't all bad, I met a great girl at the end of 2008. She's a big sweetheart and 2009 looks bright with her. 2009 EXCITES ME. It cant really be worse than 2008. I'm looking forward to leaving this piece of shit year behind. Oh one more little 2008 bonus, I have to work my 2nd job on New Years ever till 2, I don't even get to send 2008 off with a bang. Fuck you 2008, good riddance!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Worst...EVER.....

I was hoping that Id never have to write this post. But alas my beloved Detroit Lions are now officially the worst team EVER in NFL history, 0-16. The previous team of awful was the 1976 Tampa bay Buccaneers. Who is the worst off alltime you ask? ESPN did a debate here The lions are so bad! Bad coaching, bad execution, bad mgmt, bad players. To be fair he players NEVER quit, they just weren't good enough to win. 7 years of Matt Millen mistakes, catapulted the lions into this position. Well t be fair, Bill Ford Sr, is too old to run this franchise effectively. The Fords don't' give a fuck about the franchise, and they will never put in the necessary money to make it work. The lions have some good things going for them though, a great new stadium, PASSIONATE fans, and some good players to build around such as Calvin Johnson, Ernie Sims and Kevin Smith, but until they get their QB PROTECTION, IT WILL NEVER WORK. Take the best avail Left Tackle number one, and with the 2nd 1st rd pick, get a good QB. Its the Lions only hope. They have to forget about the past mistakes, and concentrate on the future. The lions have never been to a Superbowl, they have won 1 playoff win in almost 60 yrs. Their last NFL championship was in 1957. This post pains me to writ, I'm sick to my stomach because as bad as this team is, its really hard to believe they are the worst ever. As I watched tape of past games, they made BAD mistakes, there were awful coaching decisions, and game killing penalties. They will forever be known as the worst, no one can be worse, only as bad. Below is a video from Barry sanders, the most exciting player of all time! That should ease some sadness. If you have never really watched Barry run, do yourself a favor, watch the video...you wont be sad.

So Mr Ford, you need to do whatever you can to make the Lions win, if hat mean stepping down as Owner, DO SO, we the fans of suffered so long! We really just want a team that can compete with the NFL elite, We deserve that i think...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Relax! Its the Vertical Pedal on the Right!

45 Fuckin minutes. Thats Right 45 fuckin minutes! Thats how long it took me to go 4 MILES on the way home from work today. I get it its snowy..thats cool. But why does traffic freak the fuck out? Why is there traffic backed up as far as the eye can see? there is no difference except the snow, there wasnt an accident but yet it takes me 45 mins to go 4 miles? Im not asking you folks to do anything you dont want to do...but in case you are wondering its the vertical pedal on the right...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy...Finally...

Well its been a rough 3 or so months for Bobby G. 1st In Sept me & my wife decided to get a divorce, it was final on 12/11. It was really surreal to realize what you worked so hard for for 5 years just didnt work out. At first I blamed her, then i blamed myself, but in the end we were both to blame. I had to move out of my house to avoid a "the Breakup" like situation w/ my ex wife. Moved to my parents house, which is an adventure for sure. After being out of there for about a decade, its CRAZY to be back there. It has its perks though, warm dinners everyday, ever so often mom will just DO my laundry. the Drawbacks however are many as well. I have to plow the snow, rake leaves, clean eaves, and all kinds of other things. the WORST part though is not having my OWN place. Its kinda tough to bring girls back to your parents house, especially now that I found one. This girl is INCREDIBLE! She beautiful, sweet, sexy, fun and a GREAT person. Shes there for me when I have my "bad" days, and shes very compassionate and caring. Shes 31, so this is the first time ive ever dated an older girl. the benefits are GREAT! Shes mature, she has a good job and a great place, shes an adult. In the past I havent dated older girls because i was mature enough to do so. PERIOD. Ive done A LOT of growing in the last year. Ive matured a lot and went through some adult experiences that I never thought I would go through. for the 1st time really in 2008 im finally happy. 2008 was BY FAR the worst year of my life, Ive experienced heartbreak this year that I cannot explain. From losing two great friends, to the breakdown and eventual collapse of my marriage. This girl however, gives me optimism, not only for the rest of 2008, but in the future as well. its gonna be a great ride, Im just glad that i have a passenger again....

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

That Summer....

In these shitty winter months, I often reminise of good summer times Ive had. Well everyone growing up has that summer! The one maginificent summer that kind of defines your childhood. The one where your memories never seem to fade. For me it was the Summer of 1994...The Christina Summer. My next door Neighbor Jenny, had a friend come stay for the summer. Her name was Christina. She was a GORGEOUS blonde, and of course we were ALL about her. One of the best things about that summer is the music. Ice cube Lethal Injection, Snoop Dogg-Doggy Style, Dre Dre The Chronic, Beastie Boys-Ill Communication, Eazy E Its On 187 Dre Killa, those albums DEFINED my childhood, I cant hear, BopGun, whats MY Name, Nuthin but a G thang, Sabotage, or Real Muthaphukkin G's without thinkin of that summer. We would go get refils of our Mountain Dew freeze refills for like 79 cents, stock up and devour some airheads, play basbeall, ride our bikes, and just have a good ass time! Ineveitbly the summer ended, Christina went home and the summer was over, but those memories will NEVER die!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bobby G's EXCELLENT Divorce Adventure...

OK, this was supposed to be easy right? I got to court, have them check my paper work, ready my testimony & I'm out the door right? WRONG! First off, no one knew where the fuck I needed to be, I heard this court, I heard that court, I heard this judge & I heard that judge. I get to the court at 12:45, I get where I need to be at 1:45. I got to the court, the lady looks over my paperwork and says "wheres Bridgette?" I'm like "Shes at work" the court lady says "She needs to be here" I'm like "OK, well what can I do" She said "She has to sign this paper" I'm like "OK what if I hightail it over to her work and have her sign this, and hightail it back?" She said "If we are still here doing divorces that ll be fine" So I bust out of the court, roll to the structure, get in the the VW, BUST ASS out to Bridgette works way the hell out on Oak Valley Dr, have her sign the shit, BUST ASS back to the court and get to the courtroom and the doors are locked, and the lights are off, I'm like "FUCK!!!!" A lady hears me and says "Can I help you?" I'm like "yeah I had my wife sign these things and it looks like you are done." She said "Oh the are right across the hall" Sure enough they are. I get the papers to the lady and thing gets in motion. I go around the corner, and sit next to a guy we shall call him "MIKE" Mikes divorce has been DRAMA! its been going on since 2006 and the crazy bitch is trying to stick him for shit, that he doesn't even have. She wants insurance for life and stuff, and this is the 5th time hes been to court for this divorce. He was a cool ass guy. He was funny, hes had a rough life, grew up in the projects in Cleveland, was an alcoholic, been married twice, good stories, it really helped the time pass! Well finally we get in the courtroom and finally I say my testimony, that's right 3 FUCKING HOURS for two minutes in court. I was relieved to be done, but I was PISSED OFF! The good news is work gave me a 3 hr lunch break, and I don't have to make up the time. And thus concludes Bobby G's EXCELLENT DIVORCE ADVENTURE!!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Bobby G Spot Deep Dictionary-Specticalacular

Specticalacular

Spec-Tickle-Ac-ular (Adj)

To look fantastic (spectacular) in glasses.

Man Liz Hurley is fly but w/ her glasses on shes Specticalacular

Locked Locks, Frozen Dreams...

Well I got out to my car this morning and its FREEZING! Go to stick my key in my locks and its FROZEN SOLID. I'm like shit! So I go to the other side and it to is FROZEN SOLID! I'm like FUCK! So I got back to the driver's side and I get my key in, wiggle it back and forth for a while and FINALLY the car doors unlock. I pull the door handle NOTHING! I'm like GREAT! So I go to the passenger door! get in the car, crawl over the seat, and get in the driver's seat, attempt to open the door from the inside NOTHING! SO I call my parents and tell them my door handle is broken. I get to the shop, and the fucking door opens RIGHT UP! It must've been frozen, which is better than having to buy a new door handle...OH WINTER!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Ever Wish You Can Just Hit Those Fuckers?

Now its true...this is my 3rd blog post of the day but there have been an alarming amount of people just jumping in front of my car! SERIOUSLY! Its like the fucking Happening out there! I'm ready just to say screw it! I'm just gonna fucking hit them! But that VW emblem engraved in their fucking ass! I get out of work at 5:00 ITS DARK! ITS RAINING! There are people rocking all black, just walking in front of my car. I can barely see them! They don't even look in my direction! Those smug, rich daddy having bitches! They are walking across 4 lanes of traffic w/ no sense of urgency at all, during rush hr? SERIOUSLY! Its about to be game over! LOL OK OK rant over.....

Bobby G Deep Dictionary Leftermost/Rightermost

Leftermost/Rightermost

Left-er-Most, Rite-er-most (Adj)

Definition- Farthest left or farthest right

Example

See those 2 left turn lanes? You are going to get into the Leftermost lane, that way you wont have to merge back over.-

Divorce Week! What I learned about myself!

This is the final week of my marriage. The Divorce is final Dec 11, so I decided to do a blog about what I learned about myself from the divorce. Neither me or my wife had a long term relationship before this. That hurt us. We didn't acknowledge our problems we just swept them under the rug and eventually they all came out. We didn't know how "to be in a relationship" 5 years is a long time, but it was still a training period for us. Once we got that paper that said we were married it was all over. It changed EVERYTHING! We lived together for 2 yrs, so I know it wasn't that we couldn't live together, I think what it is was that we just weren't ready to be married in the 1st place. I wouldn't say we rushed into it, but we for sure needed more time for us. Until we got divorced we never had ANY fight of sizable importance. That's NOT NORMAL! It should've been a red flag for me, but I didn't think anything of it, i thought she was just that great. Turned out what happened was that she held everything inside, and in order to avoid confrontation, she just never told me anything, well eventually that volcano erupted, and the shit hit the fan. Now on the surface, this may look like her "fault" but the reality is we were both at fault. I was not a good husband. I wasn't in tune w/ her needs, and I treated her like a little sister sometimes instead of my wife. There was a lot of love there, but I wanted out as much as she did. She is 5 yrs younger than me, I also think that was a factor, there is a big difference between 25 & 30. For me it was a complete 180 in that age range. Another thing that drastically affected our marriage was the house. See when we got the house I knew I couldn't afford it, so instead of not saying anything, I kept it in, then I started living on credit cards, well my debt ballooned to around $20,000 and I never told her how out of hand it had gotten. Now we are trying to sell it and we are going to lose our asses on it! Lesson learned. In closing I'd like to state that me & my ex wife are fine. we are cordial, and we are giving each other space. We really only talk about house & divorce related stuff. But we need that.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Love lost...NOT SO FAST!

MY divorce is final this Thursday. Its fuckin surreal! Though in my own eyes I have been divorced for 3 or so months, the finality of it is so serious! I am in GREAT Spirits, ready for this part of my life to be done so I can start over. The process of starting over seemed daunting. Meeting a new person that you are compatible with is HARD! Believe it or not, not everyone can handle Bobby G! lol. Being single BLOWS! I Miss having someone. Well I found someone. She is smart funny, pretty, and all in all amazing! I know you are prob thinkin, "Bobby G its to soon!" You know what, there is no such thing as too soon! Its be STUPID of me to fight this potentially GREAT thing because its "Too Soon". There is going to be a growing period for sure! But so far so good! She brightens my days & my spirits. I still have tough days (Thanksgiving comes to mind) but she is there to help me through! The "honeymoon" period here is AWESOME! So heres to starting a new chapter as one closes.Me & my ex wife are still friends, initially I thought the 5 years we had together were a waste, I know now that that isnt true! It was never bad until the end, I loved my exwife, but thy say when you love something let it go, I am doing that, and I couldnt be happier!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Lexus for Xmas?

For SEVERAL years now Lexus has ran ads for the December to remember. Now the basis of said commercials is that husband/wives actually give their spouses a Lexus for Xmas. WTF? I bet that happened once EVER! Lexus found out and was like yeah...thatd be a great commercial. But it wont be complete unless we put a Giant Ridonk bow on it! I do enjoy this year batch of commercials though! Here is my favorite!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Bobby G Spot Deep Dictionary- Ridonk!

Ridonk
Re-Donk(Adj)

Ridiculous

Example
Dude did you see Magglios Home run last night, that was RIDONK!

Other versions- Ridonkulous

The Secret Is Out!

Last night at work we had a bunch of ladies from the Victoria Secret store in Briarwood come to the restaurant. They watched the Victoria Secret Fashion show at my work, That's right! Marissa Miller, Heidi Klum and all my favorites were on HDTV at my work! I initially thought the girls were bitches! They kept running me around! And at first some of them seemed condescending.But after a few drinks THEY WERE A BLAST! Most of them were GORGEOUS, because that's how VC girls roll! They were super flirty and fun & they TIPPED ME FAT! I made a Wednesday record $110 last night! I was there however until midnight, so it was a long day! But I made some money and had some fun and that is what matters!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Bobby G Deep Dictionary-Raunch-Deez.

This is a new segment on the G-Spot, ill give u definitions of random made up words I use all the time. This word is Raunch-Deez.

Raunch-Deez
Raunch Deez (Adj)
Something really nasty.
Example:
Man that fart was Raunch-Deez dude, I think my dog just died.

(Saturn) Skys The Limit


The Saturn Sky...the main focus on Saturn's remodeled new line. At first glance it appears to be a fairly bad ASS roadster. But upon further review ITS STILL A SATURN! Dress it up anyway you want it is still a Saturn. Saturn's are the girliest car manufacturer, (The Mazda Miata & the Pontiac Sunfire are however the girliest cars) w/ their no haggle pricing, and woman friendly sales pitch. Its a good thing to have a car company that is pressure free and doesn't try to take advantage of women buyers, but why are you making a roadster? I DONT GET IT! It has 173 HP its a 4cyl, read Its not that fast. (I should preface this by saying there is Saturn Sky Redline that offers a 260 HP 4 cyl standard) But in general it looks a lot faster than it is. So who buys Saturn Skys? Well apparently Tim Gunn from Project runway has one, is Saturn trying to corner the gay fashion designer market? Thatd be a smart move! Also you see many of the same people driving these who drive Mazda Miatas, mid life crisis guys who think they are getting a bad ass sports car...In closing Id like to say the Saturn Sky is a cool looking car, but looks can be deceiving...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

KARAOKE THURS DEC 4 Wings Pizza N Things...

Hey yall! I will be hosting Karaoke on Thurs December 4 at Wings Pizza N Things (my 2nd Job) State & Mich Ave Saline, and there are great drink specials! $3 32 oz budlight,$2 pints of Bud Light $2.50 wells, $4 Jaeger Bombs. It runs from 9-1am, and there is no cover! Come on out, sing some jams & enjoy yourself!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Worst Thanksgiving Ever!

Usually thanksgiving is an event! It was an all day thing from about noon until about midnight for me, but since im no longer married it was just one dinner. It was delicious! I honestly dont know how I could keep it down because the Lions game was on too. A merciless 47-10 ASS WHOOPIN! Then my fuckin redneck uncles start w/ the racist Obama jokes, I KNOW nice fuckin touch right? My brother had to work until 3 then he hit his wifes fams house, so I didnt get to see them, my parents went up north so I didnt see them after dinner. So I was alone at home. I went home had leftovers, watched Meatloaf Storytellers, had a couple beers, and went to bed at like 10:30...overall it was unevenful, and to make matters worse im at fuckin work right now! So yeah Thanksgiving was not the best this year, but I Still have a lot to be thankful for...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Fav Things about the Xmas Season!

Oh the Xmas season! It starts officially on the day after Thanksgiving, but some people think it starts Nov 1 (Curse you WNIC)So here it is my 5. fav things about the Xmas season!

5. White trash people fighting at stores!
Oh nothing says Happy Holidays like 2 rednecks beating each others ass to get that $499 42 in flatscreen TV!

4. No Parking!
I don't even go to stores anymore, I do all my Xmas shopping online. Why? because the damn stores ARE PACKED! You gotta park WAY OUT IN BFE, and then you get to the store and they are out of what you want! 2004 Started my Xmas online rampage, and it hasn't stopped!

3. Xmas Music!
Because who doesn't want to hear Jingle Bells by Josh Groban, and Sting, and Whitney Houston, and Boyz II Men, and Mariah Carey, and Bing Crosby, and Barenaked Ladies, and Garth Brooks and....

2. Leg Lamps! I love that electric sex glowing in the window!

1. Dec 26, because Xmas is fucking over!

BAH HUMBUG!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Street of Dreams...

Sometimes when you get a new album there is an obvious standout track. Sometimes said track applies to you personally w/ the lyrics. This one is called Street of Dreams, its by Guns N Roses and the lyrics really hit me, because what Axl is talking about, applies to my divorce like CRAZY! Especially the line "What I thought was beautiful, don't live inside of you anymore"


Here are the lyrics also!

All the love in the world couldn't save you
All the innocence inside
You know I tried so hard to make you
Ooo I wanna make you change your mind

And it hurts too much to see you
And how you left yourself behind
You know I wouldn't want to be you
Now there's a hell I can't describe

So now I wander through my days
Trying to find my ways
To the feelings that I felt
I saved for you and no one else

And though as long as this road seems
I know it's called the street of dreams
But that's not stardust on my feet
It leaves a taste that's bittersweet
That's called the blues

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
You know it's what you planned, this much is true
What I thought was beautiful, don't live inside of you anymore

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
You know it's what you planned, this much is true
What I thought was beautiful, don't live inside of you anymore

What this means to me
Is more than I know you believe
What I thought of you now
Has cost more that it should for me

What I thought was true before
Were lies I couldn't see
What I thought was beautiful
Is only memories

Monday, November 24, 2008

5 Legendary Cds..According to Bobby G!

Now I'm not going to say these are my all time top 5 favorites, but they'd be up there for sure, rest assured that these albums are great!

5. Ben Folds- Rockin the Suburbs



This a a great album! Ben folds is a musical Genius! This album proves it! The songs are all so different, from the slow Piano jam Fred Jones Pt 2 to the rocking, hip hop oriented Rockin the Suburbs, this CD is one I always come back to!

4. Snoop Doggy Dogg- Doggystyle



This CD released in 1993 was one of the best selling debut CDs of all time! Snoop came on the scene in 1992's The Chronic, by mentor Dr Dre. His solo album was highly anticipated and he did not disappoint! What you got was 14 tracks of pure 90s west coast hip hop. 3 top singles, Whats My Name?, Doggy Dogg World, and Gin & Juice shot this CD to super stardom!

3. Outkast-Southernplayalisticcadilacmuzik.



Quite a name huh? this 1994 CD was my favorite by hip hop supergroup Outkast. It brought together fantastic beat, awesome lyrics & southern attitude to the rap game. Big Boi & Andre have become one of hip hops most respected groups. This is how they started, OH did I mention they were 17!

2. Meat Loaf Bat out of Hell!


This a a great album! 7 songs, 45 mins, just fantastic! Some of the songs are almost theatrical. Fantastic production by Todd Rundgren music & lyrics by Jim Steinman, and Meat Loafs voice in his prime! This CD has sold over 34 million copies world wide & still sells 200,000 a year. The CD came out in 1977, now that is staying power!

1. Guns N' Roses- Appetite For Destruction



Viewed by many as the greatest Heavy metal album of all time! Axl Roses powerful voice! Slashs fantastic guitar, and great writing & production, make this album legendary! There are 12 songs and all of them rock hard! Its in my eyes a flawless example of what rock music is! I LOVE IT!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Chinese Democracy..A Review...

Chinese Democracy, the LONG awaited album from Guns N Roses, finally dropped, 14 yrs later. It was supposed to drop initially in 1995. Every year since then it was slated to be released, it became a joke of the music industry. People were saying that when the album finally came out China would actually have a democracy. Well it dropped today. The question on many peoples minds is, was it worth the wait? In a word yes! There are some fantastic songs on the album! The album has a great mix of heavy songs and many slower piano songs that eventually rock! Its vintage GNR, around use your illusion time. The standout tracks are: Street Dreams, IRS, Rhiad & the Beduins, Better, madagascar, and Catcher in the RYE. The album in general has great production, and the songs all change tempos, and go from faster to slower or vice versa. Axl sounds as good as ever! He can still hit ALL the notes, which I questioned. The album is 75 mins long, and many songs are over 5 mins (9 of 14) GNR is at their best w/ the long songs. Love the album, get it! GNR is back baby! and I couldnt be more happy! (4.5 out of 5 stars)

Damn...5 shots?

I attempted to be 22 again yesterday and fuckin failed. MISERABLY! I started at about 12:30 watching UM get fuckin killed by OSU. We had a huge feast at about 5 or so, then went tot h bar at about 10. It was Caseys Bowmans Bday celebration and we went to Blue Leprechaun. It was a BLAST! But I had 5 shots and 6 or so beers there, yeah I puked today. The 1st time from drinkin since Dec of 06. The night was fun though, so no real regrets! But I GOTTA REMEMBER that I cant do that shit no more! lol

Friday, November 21, 2008

UM HOOPS! Wins!

Im a die hard Michigan Hoops fan. Its not easy to admit. They have been awful for 10 years. They havent made the NCAA tourney, they havent beaten a ranked team, they havent done anything actually relavant since I was in HS. That changed last night! UM shocked #4 UCLA at Madison Square Garden in NY. It was in the semi finals of the Coaches Vs. Cancer Classic. We play #10 Duke (yes that Duke) for the championship tonight. If we lose, honestly, it doesnt really matter. We beat UCLA, we can see our team has shown AMAZING improvement in the last year. Last year we went 10-22, we lost to HARVARD for gods sake! MY main hope is that we play Duke hard. I dont know if they can beat Duke, but I KNEW they couldnt beat UCLA. way to prove me wrong Wolverines!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dont buy a house...Seriously!

IN Feb 2007 me and my wife (at the time) bought a house. WE LOVED IT! It had a 2.5 car garage w/ heated workshop, it had a finished bsmt, hardwood floors, it was JUST perfect for us! In May of 2008 we realized that our mortgage got fucked up because of taxes. it went from $980-$1320 in 1 fuckin month! We decided we would have to refinance. Well we didnt have the house long enough so the refi really cost us. We got our payment down to $1150, but, we acrewed a bunch of fees so our mortgage went from $110K to $115K Well in Sept of 2008 We filed for divorce. Now we must sell said house. It was appraised for $123K. We are now asking $99,900. We got an offer for
$67K. A lowball fuckin BS offer for $67K. Now we have 2 options, be like FUCK YOU! And see what happens. Or try to do a short sale. Now for those not familiar w/ a shortsale, the bank sells the house to the buyer and says OK they are giving us
$67K, we are even. Our credit will take a hit, about 80-100pts, but whatever. We also cant buy a house for 2 yrs (will I ever again? not sure) So no big deal. But all because we decided to buy a house, it messed up our credit (mildly but still) I got my CC debt out of control (my fault, but I knew I couldnt afford the house I shouldve said something) so since Ive had this house everything in my life pretty much fell apart. it was a fuckin awful exp & I dont recommend it to anyone, unless you can afford it your self.

Bobby G! The Host w/ the Most!

So it has been decided that December 4th a Wings Pizza N Things, there will be karaoke! 9pm-1am, I am the host! Im stoked, I wanted to host karaoke for a long time. Stoo never had a show for me! So I made my own! lol. its gonna be a huge blowout! Bud is gonna be ther w/ the bud chicks handing out swag! $3 32 oz drafts of budlight, $2 pints of BL, $2.50 Wells, $4 Jaeger bombs! Come out and support Bobby G! Itll be a blast!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

New Life.....New Experiences....

Thirty, though its only a few weeks old, has been kind of a revelation to me. With what's happening at work, and the FUCKED UP MI ECONOMY, I'm kind of thinking about getting the fuck out of MI. MI blows! I was born & raised here, but find the prospect of living here not so appealing. Now that I'm no longer married, and now that my house is getting looked at a lot ( 5 times this week) hopefully someone will buy it, there is nothing keeping me here except family & friends. I love my family & friends, that's undeniable, but I feel like I may need a new exp. Well I applied to some jobs in Atlanta. Not that anything will come from it, but I kind of hope it does. I have friends that live there, and I could crash with them. They live right across the street from a cheesecake factory, and right around the corner from an ESPN Zone, so there will be serving jobs readily avail, if I don't get a job I applied for. I kind of just need a new exp. I need to meet new people, be on my own and go somewhere where the avg temp in DEC is 55! Harley weather for sure! Atlanta is a fantastic city, I was there in 1997, I enjoyed every second of it! Plus my friends that live there, Marisa and Bill, are great people! Obviously the wheels aren't yet in motion, in fact I don't know if Ill have the balls to do it! But 30 is gonna come w/ some life changes, that's for damn sure!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Why I hate Pearl Jam & Nirvana & the Doors

Now I LOVE MUSIC! I listen to all kinds all genres etc. But these 3 bands I DESPISE!!!! I'm gonna tackle them individually for ya

Nirvana- There was a time when I liked Nirvana. though the music was hard to understand & the lyrics made me wanna kill myself, I liked the music. Then in 1994 Kurt Cobain killed himself. all of a sudden Nirvana was the best band ever! Every time there is a countdown of best CDs of the 1990s nirvana ALWAYS WINS! Every time! It wasn't that great of a CD guys. I hate to break it to you. it had 4 or 5great songs, but it was not legendary, nor was it classic. it was just decent... The truth hurts doesn't...

The Doors- Ive always hated the Doors. When my dad forced me to listen to them on the way up north, I couldn't stand it. I thought I was being punished. WTF did I do that was so bad I had to listen to the Doors for 4 straight hours, id rather be in purgatory. Heres my major problem w/ the Doors. No bass, they have a keyboard player instead. it makes the music sound like cheap fucking carnival music. it drives me nuts. If they would've axed the keyboardist & replaced it w/ a legit bassist, I may have been able to deal. But alas, nope.

Pearl Jam- Of all the bands I hate, this one draws the most ire from friends & colleagues. I'm just gonna say it I HATE PEARL JAM! HATE THEM! There are several reasons. 1. I hate grunge, and they were the MAIN band in grunge (thanks Kurt Cobain!)2. Grunge killed my beloved hair metal, 3. grunge lasted like 4 years. It wasn't worth it. 4. Eddie Vetter is the worst singer ever. He doesn't even sing, he fucking mumbles, and people go ape shit over it. Basically they are so overrated. Whenever I hear Pearl Jam butcher a cover, (like Last Kiss) it makes me wanna puke. They do it on the regular too! Every Pearl Jam cover is about 50 times worse than the original, because the lack of Eddie Vetters range as a singer. Now if you like Pearl Jam, I wont hate on you, but I will shit on your music choice lol! Long Live GNR! fuck Pearl Jam!

Man down, Man down....

This morning I'm going to work, I get to the structure, get in the elevator and exit the building. I'm on the sidewalk and totally hit some black ice & down I go. I had my ipod in my pocket,(didn't break) and it totally got trapped between my body and the ground. I got 2 REALLY sore ribs. But no visible bruising...we shall see tomm...but OW! the good news was there were no visible witnesses, i even though i was hurting, I wasn't too embarrassed, welcome winter, its good to have you!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

My Parents House? Really?

So I'm sitting at home watching UM lose and a guy comes to the door. I answer and he says "this is gonna sound weird, but I'm with a movie scouting company and your house matches the type and style we want to shoot a movie in" I'm like Huh? lol I told him my parents weren't home, but they would call him back Sunday, he gives me a sheet w/ all the info and the website to show this movie does exist & hes legit. The movie is called the Betty Ann Waters Story, it stars either Naomi Watts or Hilary Swank depending on where you go. Its about a lady whose brother gets convicted of a crime that he didn't commit. She goes to Law School to get a degree and actually frees her brother w/ DNA evidence in 2001. Why would they want my parents house is the question. Its old, its bright fucking yellow, and it has a bunch of tiny ass rooms. I cant fathom a film crew here. It'd be cool as shit though, because Naomi Watts is fucking HOT lol. Hilary Swank, not so much. So lets hope we see the Garrott household in a Hollywood film, thatd be AWESOME!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Bobby G, Single... and Struggling With It.

Single...Its kinda weird to say. I haven't been for 5 years, (and will not be officially until Dec 11, but in my own mind I've been single for a few months) The game has changed. I'm not in tune with it. Now I always had the ability to date girls hotter than i should. I get by on the combo of good looking enough but with a FANTASTIC personality (not to toot my own horn lol) I'm very outgoing, fun to be around, and funny. But where I now struggle is with confidence. I haven't struggled with that since HS. I'm very confident, bordering on cocky at times lol, but I have recently had troubles approaching girls I don't know. 2 things help: 1. Alcohol, 2. Alcohol. When i have a few drinks I can talk to anyone, but I cant be drunk 24/7 lol. I'm really not ready to start dating yet anyways, I just need to hangout, get to know people, and have occasional sex lol. That's also scary. Sex. STDs, babies, and emotional attachment. Haven't had to worry about those things either. Its going to be fun though. There are many beautiful people, some of which I have met recently. I'm excited about the prospect of meeting new people. That's great because I love people! I also like attractive people, which is also good hitting the bars and clubs, there are many of them around. Basically as I ramble on I need my loyal readers to hook me up! lol. The best way to meet someone is through a friend. It's a comfort zone, it takes away the randomness of the whole situation, it also builds trust. I basically just need a cute, funny girl, who isn't jealous and would ride on a Harley, if you know anyone LET ME KNOW!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Uncertain Future...

So my Boss at about 9:00 am yesterday said "Meeting at 9:45" I'm thinking that cant be good, I asked her what it was about & she said consolidation, I thought OH FUCK! So we go to this meeting and all the Big wigs are there, all the managers & the publisher...she runs the whole damn show here, so I knew it was dramatic. She goes tot he podium and looks like shes gonna cry, again not good, because she is a VERY strong woman. She starts saying how we are struggling, economy, blah blah blah, I mean we all know this, so no new info here. Well then she dropped the bomb. Four full depts Prepress (where I used to work) Art Dept (where I want to work) Pagination, & support. Plus some of editorial, are all moving to Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo. So what are peoples options? They can APPLY for their old jobs (Read: may not get them at GR or Kzoo) if they don't want to relocate OR don't get the job they can take a buyout if they are Full Time for 5 yrs or more (not sure what the buyout is yet)Where I work has a policy that you wont be laid off so what will happen if you don't get your job or am not eligible for the buyout is that you can get a position (not what you did before) here or one of the other locations (there are 8 in the state) They will have you do whatever they want. So basically, the poor people who have houses and kids & shit, obviously cant peace out & go to GR or KZoo, so they have to stay here. Is a messed up situation, and it REALLY makes me worry about the future of my job here. Obviously newspapers are a dying industry, I think that when the baby boomers are gone thee isn't gonna be newspapers anymore. The Internet has taken over. That's the reality of it. The bitch of it is those depts have ALL MY WORK FRIENDS in it. It kills me, cause they are in this tough situation, and I'm here w/ minor worries comparatively. I hope all this works out.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Meatloaf, Awesome in all forms!

My buddy Shaggy says hes going to do a post about Meatloaf, but he never will so I'm gonna do it right now! Now I'm not talking about the delicious meat entree, I'm talking about the singer! The overweight, power voiced singer. Every show was like a musical. this was a 300+ pound man giving it his all for a show! he would often pass out after a show do the the amount of energy exerted. People my age think Meatloaf is lame. Hes not for everyone, you must like well produced, very musical songs, with tons of piano, vocal crescendos, and bad ass guitar solos. His 1977 album Bat Out of hell sold over 34 million copies world wide & continues to sell 200,000 a year according to Rolling Stone. It is a legendary album. 7 songs, 45 mins, of pure musical joy! It starts w/ Bat out of hell, an 11 minute joyride of rock! But probably the best known song is Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, its about getting laid for the 1st time in a car.
Below is a video for Paradise by The Dashboard Lights

I listen to Bat out of Hell all the time! Its one of my favorite Motorcycling albums, and its great to listen to in the car too!
After Bat out of Hell, Meatloaf didn't have a mainstream album for 15 years. he had vocal chord issues and had to fight back, the result was 1993s bat out of Hell II. it spawned the hit, Id do Anything for Love (but I wont do that) The video is below.

This album produced Meatloafs ONLY #1 hit (id do anything for love...) Meatloaf is the man! He rocks! give it a shot! You may enjoy Meatloaf, even if you don't like meatloaf...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

B & B Dirty Dirty 30 30

Well last Sat it was on! The B & B Dirty Dirty 30 30. Me & my buddy Ben's 30th Bday party! It was a tremendous Success! Prob 100+ people showed up during the night, family friends and people I havent seen in years! I got drunk! Had a BLAST and MANY people took pictures. I have great friends! Those who were there thanks! Those who were not, you know I still love you! But you missed a FANTASTIC time! We got there at 8, turns out we didn't have the room until 9. So there were still some of the public there. They peaced out at 9, and the people flooded in. The 1st ones there were my family, Ben (The other Bday Boy) and Bridgette, my ex wife. I know what you are thinking, your Ex was there? Well she is great friends w/ Ben and this is my 30th Bday, I wanted her there too. I was FANTASTIC! She had a blast, and we had a long (semi-drunken) chat, I just wanted her to know that I was happy she came, and that it was good to know we can co-exist between friends w/o any drama. Im actually really happy she came. At about 10-11 is when MANY people started to come! Lots of the night I dont recall much of, but thankfully people took pictures! here they are!

This is a pic of me & my Friend Jen! Haven't seen her in FOREVER! I was stoked she came!


Me my Friend Josh & his Wife Jessica! Check out the look on my face! I look Sinister...



Big Pimpin! with Jenna, Pickle & my GIRL Kelly.


Me & my mom!


Me & Cassie! Havent seen her in quite sometime either! Glad she made it! LOVE YOU GIRL!


Me & Ben, the other bday boy, during a toast to his mom, She passed 2 yrs ago December, and this brought a tear to my eye.


A Pic of the Drunken Crew. At like 1 am lol



Michelle, Me, Ben, Tiffany. I looked like im STOKED, OK I just look drunk! lol



Again Drunken Crew!



Me Steve & Kdogg, Again, IM DRUNK! lol



Me & Michelle, we are so fly!



Me & Josh, earlier in the night, before I got Stupid drunk lol

Overall it was one of the best bdays ever! No BS no drama, just a great time w/ my great friends! See yall for the Filthy Forty In 2018!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Man Walk of Shame....

So everyone knows about the walk of shame It typically involves a girl dressed for the club from the night before on her way home from a drunken hookup. Well I have determined the man walk of shame. It involves NOT HAVING SEX and being dressed in a suit, at 11 am from the night before, (I'm not going to church after all), messed up hair, and bar funk/cologne mix smell. It happened to me last night. I went home w/ a friend of mine and her friend, I was piss drunk, and passed out on her couch after eating pizza. Its all good! The walk of shame lives in everyone, even Bobby G.

Friday, November 7, 2008

B & B Dirt Dirty 30 30 reminder...its Tomm!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

30 Years old...22 yr old weekend...

The fog has lifted, the hangover is gone, and now its time for me to post about the 30th bday weekend. It was a blast! Friday night I met up w/ some friends at a random house party on A2 saline-Rd. Played some beer pong, and some drinking ping pong, but the we rolled to the "firehouse" which is some apt complex on 4th & Madison. It used to be a firehouse back in the day and there was a HUGE lobby, w/ a DJ playing Techno (garbage) but the environment was cool. Then, I GOT DRUNK! it was my Bday at midnight so I made sure everyone at the party knew! I was the Bday boy! Dancing it up, killing beers, and taking shots of blackberry brandy (thanks Gabe!) I rolled w/ my friend Kristen, she knew these peeps, so all my boys rolled w/ her, it was a GREAT time! After the party got broken up by the cops (I didn't care I was 30!) We rolled to Babs, a Martini/Jazz type bar in downtown A2. I was really drunk & only remember 2 PBRs and a shot there. I got a ride home (after Burger King) and cashed out. Sat I woke up HUNGOVER, but not too bad, it was slightly shitty till about 1 or so, but I got out of it nicely! I was impressed w/ my 30 yr old skills lol. The rest of sat afternoon, I drank water, chilled and got ready for the evening. The party was at my friend Dave's house on waters Rd in Wagner (city country) there has a shit ton of land, and this Halloween party is ALWAYS good times. I rolled w/ Casey (robber), Brian (golfer), Steve Chang (Banana), Sevan (warrior from 300) , and Big Chris (Wheres Waldo), my friend Stephanie (hottest Cop ever) also rolled a bit later. I was a Vampire. When we got to the party we took a hayride, complete w/ a very shaken up keg. It was foamy as all hell, but it became beer eventually! It was about and hr & I was fuckin freezing! But it was a great time. when we got back I ate some chili and commenced to getting drunk! I DID! Somewhere in there I lost at some euchre, danced a bit, and flirted w/ a bevy or hotties that were there. Casey Bowman met a bad ass little chick, nice work CB. way later in the evening I was sitting at the campfire and 3 guys got to the party, we had an in depth discussion about hip hop and how shitty it is, then we started freestyle rap battling lol. That's right! I tore it up! got mad props from the people, I enjoyed it. I ended up passing out, and waking up at about 10am (went to bed at 5am) and I was in ROUGH SHAPE! i though for sure I was gonna puke (never Did) but my Sunday was useless until about 8pm or so. I went to bed at 9:45 lol. So in the end my 30 ness did wear through! Oh well, it was a great weekend!

Monday, November 3, 2008

OH NO!

100.3 WNIC has gone all Xmas Music until Xmas day. I seriously want to vomit. I HATE XMAS. Its true, I mean I'm selfish so I like presents, but other than that I hate the holiday season. Hate lights & store traffic & most of all I hate Xmas Music. Its like the same 5 songs, all done slightly different, but mostly they are all the same. It drives me nuts! fortunately my work hasn't put it on yet, but the real XMas season doesn't start until the day after Thanksgiving. I can at least tolerate it then. But Nov 1 thats too damn far.

Mechanic Dad Savior!

So I get up early today because I went to bed at 9:45 last night (30 yr old trying handle a weekend of partying my ass off!) Ive also been late to work too much lately, so i decided to get up 10 mins earlier than I normally would on top of that. I have to be to work at 8:30, I currently live 10 mins away. I walk out the door at 7:59, in great shape, I was gonna stop at Panera & get a bagel, but alas drama occurred. At the Huron Pkwy Washtenaw light (for those that don't know it is one of the busiest intersections in Ann Arbor) My car decides that it no longer wants to move, and it stalls, right in the middle of the intersection, blocking all 4 lanes of traffic, I'm like SHIT! So i get out of the car, throw it in neutral, and start to pushing, only its up hill so i can barely get it to budge. I'm freaking out because cars are everywhere & I'm totally fuckin up traffic, I hate being in that position. Thankfully a guy stops in an SUV and starts pushing w/ me, we get it rolling pretty good at that point, and finally lay it to rest in the Barnes & Noble parking lot. So I'm going to be late to work, (which was the whole point of getting up early) I call my Dad's shop, and he says he'll be there in a minute, so as I'm waiting for him I try to start the car. Nothing. But wouldn't you fuckin know it, as soon as he gets there the car starts, "that was easy", he replies, "but let me try something" he goes to the truck and gets out his canteen, and drenches the coil w/ water. 20 seconds later it stalls again "A-Ha" he says. He had a spare coil with him and ghetto rigged it to make it work. So i get to work at 8:45, and now have to go to the shop after work to get my car fixed, its gonna be $60 for the part, no big deal, so now my hoopty car is gonna get a whole new piece for it! So its happy.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Birth-Weekend...

Having a halloween Bday (ok Nov 1) is kinda cool, there are tons of parties goin on & they all are so fun because everyone is dressed up & stuff. People love to get drunk on halloween or as I call it dress like a slut free day. Halloween is great for me because all girls dress sexy! Sexy Nurses, sexy lion tamers, sexy girl scouts, sexy vampires (a personal favorite!) & about a million other Sexy costumes! Now that im single I can actually FULLY enjoy said costumes lol. Happy Bday to me, im 30 tomm, and prob wont post for a few days due to hungoverness!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Duffy...

Amy Wiseman turned me onto her. SHE IS FANTASTIC! Shes a modern day Billie Holiday in ever aspect! Her voice has that 50s-60s throwback. Super powerful & very Jazzy/Soulful. This album is 38 mins of amazing! From the damn near a Capella Syrup & Honey to the throwback Mercy . Her voice POPS on the almost Stand By Me style Stepping stone. She wails it out on Im scared, and croons her way into your heart on Rockferry.


I am blown away! check it out, enjoy it! I'm sure you will.

Bang Alot, Get a Free House....

So im flippin through TV a little while back, and I happen to come to a little show called Extreme Makeover Home Edition. There was a lady on there w/ like 50 kids. Seriously she must bang like 20 times a day...a little too fertile for me! lol. But the EMHE douchebag host is gonna build her a house. Now Im thinkin, I like to bang, all I have to do to get a free house is bang? well shit, might as well! I can also get a free house if I have cancer or am mentally challenged, so I decided to go for bangion lol. Wish me luck on my bangin for a house adventure! lol. Ok so im not gonna have 300 kids to get a free house, but I feel like people on this earth need a free house more than people who bang all the time.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Best TV Theme Songs

These are my Favorite TV theme Songs/intros ever!
The Sopranos Come w/ me as I roll to my house in suburban New Jersey. We can pass awesome landmarks along the way. Fuhgetaboutit


Growing Pains
Ah the Seavers...Check out pics of them when they were little, to adulthood.


Reading Rainbow- Have you ever seen the Reading Rainbow intro on WEED MAN!?


Family Ties- Oh the 80's ness of it all!


Full House- Frisco & Mullets, who can ask for anything more.


Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (Long version) Rarely Seen, Long version w/ the airplane ride & stuff.


Did I miss your favorite? let me know!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Its So Damn Literal.

Found this last night, its the literal take on the 80s video Take on Me by A-Ha. About the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Heres the Rick Roll.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Delicious!

Usually when a celebrity lends his name to a product its just a re-packaging on an old product. Not the case with Tim Mcgraw though. He has lent his name to prob the most delicious cornchip in the history of the earth. McGraws Spicy Jalapeno Fritos. OH my god! they are a delight. I love spicy stuff anyways & I have always loved Fritos but these bad boys are just delicious! Nice work Tim McGraw! Way to represent!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Blogging for stress..

I know I have been blogging a lot lately. Probably an insane amount lol. Ive been stressing hard. Divorce, trying to sell a house, money issues, its like damn how much more can a brother take? BY far this is the hardest time in my life. I just want to get through all this bullshit! This is an outlet that helps me A LOT! A TON! I consider myself a good person. Why do bad things happen to good people? Part of it is my fault, I went apes shit with credit cards in my mid 20s. I now how a shit ton of debt that I am paying off as I can. The debt also contributed (partially) to my divorce, which in turn led to money problems, and all my stress. The moral of this story? credit Cards are evil. I wish that when Ed Norton blew up all those credit card companies in fight Club that all that actually happened. Seriously, no more debt for the US. That would be TIGHT! I also think the government instead of giving the banks $700 Billion should have gave that to the US people. Think about it, people would pay off mortgages, credit cards, car loans etc., also people would buy cars, houses, etc., the banks would take care of their selves. I'm so tired of all this bullshit...the bitch of it is, its my fault.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pinckney Highschool Craziness.

In Case you guys haven't heard this story let me break it down for you. A 14 yr old Pinckney HS Student used her Camera phone to take pictures of her private parts nude this summer and texted them to some of her friends. Well they got send all around to over 200 students. Now this has caused an uproar at Pinckney HS. How is the school involved you ask? Superintendent Dan Danosky said "It happened outside of school, but we can investigate because it affects what goes on at school. Now we're waiting for a report from the sheriff's department before we decide whether to take action." The Sheriff you ask? YES! They want to prosecute this girl for child pornography. That's nuts! Now it was a damn stupid thing to do, no doubt, but child pornography? REALLY? This girl is going to be on the sex offenders list for the rest of her life for doing something stupid, she meant no malice here. Also the school has suspended 20 students who either sent this picture or received it. That's BS too, it shouldn't be the schools issue. There are going to be some PISSED OFF Parents. I can see if you sent it, but how is it my fault if I received it? They prob should have deleted it, but its not everyday you get a pic of a vagina sent to your phone lol. They were probably ecstatic! I would've been in HS! Shit I would be now! (as long as it was an of age vagina lol) So in closing girls don't take pictures of your vagina unless you want the earth to see it!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Reasons Why I know Im Getting Old.

So approaching the big 3-0 I decided to reflect on how I know I am getting old & why. Here we go!

10. 2 Day Hangovers- When I was 22 this shit NEVER happened. Now if I drink liquor for a night I'm hungover for 2 damn days, its BRUTAL! At 22 I could drink till 5am go to work at 9 and be good to go in a few hours, now I can be either hungover OR tired, not both, if I'm both my day is over before it begins.

9.Young Girls- Ive always liked young girls not dirty young but between 18-23, but now that I'm almost 30 that is dirty young. And 18 yr old was in kindergarten when I was a senior in HS, WOW

8. Young Girls Moms- I actually closer to a 40 yr old moms age than I am to her 18 yr old daughter, that's MIND BOGGLING!

7. Sleep- I used to be able to function on 3-4 hrs of sleep, now if I don't get 7 hrs I'm FUCKED!

6. Memory- I forget random shit, like did I take my medicine? or did I use shampoo in the shower this morning, WTF? lol

5. Losing touch- I have no idea what the "kids" are into now a days, That started w/ Pokemon, that was the 1st thing I didn't understand.

4. Earlier Nights, Earlier Bed- Remember when you didn't go to the bar until 11? Now I'm in bed by then during the week! lol

3. People I know are having Kids-Good friends are having babies, not ooops babies but legit we should have a baby babies. That's CRAZY!

2. Random Soreness- Now this also may because im out of shape (isn't round a shape?) But its funny if I do anything mildly tiring (Mowing the lawn for instance) Im sore for like 3 days.

But the number 1 reason I know I'm getting old.
1. Weekday bar nights- I used to go the bar during the week ALL THE TIME! Now if I do it (when I have to work the next day) I hate the earth for 48 hrs. I love the bar during the week! I miss it!

So that's my list! When did you know?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A Whole New Migraine...

I get Migraines, they blow, but the last few times I've had them they have been different. Not worse but way more scary. They are a sharp pain in the right hand side of my head. They feel like im getting stabbed, the pain last just for a second but it comes back every 10 mins or so. They are called stabbing headaches & I thought I was having a stroke or something, but I looked on Web MD and realized what was up so now I have to deal with it. Today is gonna blow.....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Things I Hate That People Seem to Love...

I seem to be in the minority quite often. I really hate these things below. PEOPLE LOVE THIS SHIT! Here we go!

The Doors/Pearl Jam: Ah the Doors, the band that said "Hey we don't need a bass, we got an organ" The result is some fucking carnival music. It sounds like shit! They bore the hell out of me! The music sucks my will to live. Pearl jam is another one. They were the "Best Band" of a music genre that lasted 4 fuckin years & grunge destroyed hair metal, which was really the shit. So Pearl Jam AND NIRVANA (who wouldn't be shit if Kurt Kobain didn't die) Destroyed hair metal, thanks!

Starbucks: Now this isn't Starbucks fault. I hate coffee, but I do think Starbucks is evil.

Cake: Despise it! Cake is too sweet, frosting is straight sugar & it makes my stomach & Teeth hurt. Id rather eat more REAL food.

Caddyshack: THE MOST OVERRATED MOVIE EVER! Period. People absolutely LOVE this flick, BIll Murray is about 3/4 retarded, and the "Legendary One Liners" aren't really funny.

There are LOTS more, ill keep you posted!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Kenny G & Grillz.....

So me & KG (Dad) are watching Clueless, randomly it was on, and Dad sees Dee's Boyfriend (cant recall the character name) and he has braces in the movie, my dad says does he have a grill? I say no, he has braces , dad says arent they the same thing? I say no a grill is a mouthpiece made out of diamonds. KG says Thats stupid, I say yeah, pretty much. And that was that...

Also here is a bad song about grillz

Back at the crib...for a bit

So yesterday I "moved back" into the crib because Bridgette is in NYC to see her friend Jess. Its kind of weird, 1st of all the house is SUPER CLEAN because it is for sale, so everything I do I got to make SURE I keep it spotless, its kind of a challenge for me lol. I would've just stayed at the parents house but my cat needs a epilepsy pill every morning so I for sure don't want to go 20 mins+ out of my way every morning to give my cat his meds, I also don't want to have my brother or someone else give him his pill while shes out of town, thatd be lazy. The 2nd weird thing is that I'm living out of a suitcase in my own house. I don't want to unpack my shit, because ill be going back Monday night, I do miss my bed though, I also miss my cat Harley, I don't miss 23 mins to work (at my parents its 10) I also don't miss going all the way across town to grocery shop and do random chores, I hardly use any gas now. Overall the situation blows, I wish i could live in my own house, w/ my wife & cat and that's it, things do happen for a reason though...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Birthdays & Facebook...

My birthday is in 2 weeks. its my 30th bday & I'm kinda stoked, kind of like a new start. However 1 thing is for sure I'm going to be Inundated w/ emails from Facebook saying someone left me a comment. Now this is all good, but the vast majority of these peeps wouldn't know it was your bday if Facebook didn't say so. So basically you get a ton of comments from your fringe friends. People who feel obligated because Facebook says it. Don't get me wrong, I do it too! I too feel obligated, but its kind of a funny situation! Further more, some of these people you haven't seen or really even talked to in a long time, so whats the point? I think its a selfish happiness, you know you did something so its out of the way, but then again when its your bday on Facebook ill be sure to say whats up!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Pickup Artist...

You ever see a stupid show that you cant get enough of? some of those shows for me have been The Hills, Project Runway, Rock of Love & Joe Millionaire. However the current one for me is The Pickup Artist on VH1. This show is AWFUL! However I get so intrigued by it that I just have to watch. For those that don't know The PUA is a guy named Mystery(yeah they don't use their real names) Hes a skinny unattractive dude who is THE MAN when it comes to getting ladies, his right hand man is a guy named Matador (yeah that's right) and this season there is a chick named Tara. Basically there are 8 total tools who Mystery is trying to transform into the PUA. These guys range from A guy who girls think is gay to a 28 yr old virgin. HELPLESS! In fact this years crop is so bad that 1 guy already got booted. Now it sounds retarded but these techniques really do work, throughout the show you see these guys get girls and its awesome! But Mystery is SUCH A TOOL I just don't get it at all, He does magic, and hes really unattractive, but somehow it all works for him. i got a text last night from my sister in law who said he should be like my idol now lol, shes prob right, I can utilize these techniques to be a pimp! lol but in all honesty id feel like a douche!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

White Trash Bumper Sticker Part 2

So im on the bike & I get behind a Ford Ranger, 1 bumper sticker says NO BAMA, with a white flag, the 2nd one says & I shit you not: "Jet Noise, the Sound of Freedom" I laughed my ass off. Hilarious!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Happy Kill A Native American, Take His Land & Rape His Wife Day!

Christopher Columbus is a piece of shit. The blog twodayslate already said what i wanted to say so here it is!
"Christopher Columbus is known in the United States of America to be the founder of the Americas. We celebrate him in October but, in fact, he did not go onto the mainland (United States) until his third voyage in 1498. He also was not the earliest European explorer to reach the Americas, as there are accounts of European transatlantic contact prior to 1492. In fact, Scandinavian Vikings already had settlements in the Americas in the eleventh century, and British fishermen probably fished the shores of Canada for decades before Columbus. His voyage is more famous because of his nationalism and the economic competition. Columbus was in the right place at the right time and had the most power.
Columbus did not do anything that others did not already do before him. The earth was already proved to be round. The Egyptian-Greek scientist Erastosthenes, already had measured the circumference and diameter of the world in the third century B.C. Arab scientists had developed a whole discipline of geography and measurement, and in the tenth century A.D., Al Maqdisi described the earth with 360 degrees of longitude and 180 degrees of latitude. The Monastery of St. Catherine in the Sinai still has an icon — painted 500 years before Columbus — which shows Jesus ruling over a spherical earth. And as said above, Scandinavian Vikings already had settlements in the Americas in the eleventh century, and British fishermen probably fished the shores of Canada for decades before Columbus. Columbus was very greedy; he voyaged for three things, “Gold, Glory and God”. In his search for gold he killed many people and almost wiped out an entire civilization by himself. He did this for many reasons. One of course was for personal gain and the other was for Spain. If he did not get gold for Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand they would not finance Columbus’ trip. Columbus had to pay the Queen and King back and he would do anything to do that. This need to repay his debt can be found in Columbus’ diaries as he raced from one Caribbean island to the next, stealing anything of value and killing or capturing Native Americans.
Columbus did many bad things to the natives and he killed almost all of them. He forced them to find gold where there was none, and if they did not find any Columbus would kill them. Columbus also forced the natives to become slaves, most of the natives died on their way to Spain. Columbus and his men threw the native’s corpses over the side of the boat and into the ocean. The natives that did not become slaves worked on plantations or mines where they too would die from the hard working conditions. The natives did nothing to deserve these harsh conditions; they greeted the Europeans to their land with open arms.
Christopher Columbus is very influential in our culture. We celebrate him and his accomplishments on Columbus Day. In fact, the United States honors only two men holidays bearing their names, Christopher Columbus and Martin Luther King, Jr. In January we commemorate the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr., who tried to stop racial prejudice and relinquish the remaining bonds of slavery in America, and in October, we honor Christopher Columbus, who opened the Atlantic slave trade and launched one of the greatest waves of genocide known in history."
Well said twodayslate! Columbus has been a Native American Hitler for HUNDREDS of years, I say Hitler because there is really NO DIFFERENCE except the Media was there to cover Hitler. Could you imagine the outrage if there was a Hitler day? It would tremendously offensive for MILLIONS of people. So basically in closing, Jerusalem doesn't have a Hitler day? Why the fuck do we have Columbus day?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Most Country Song Ever?

Heard this at the wedding (wouldnt let me embed)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUz-ILVzWs

LOVE IT!

I Have Seen Beer Heaven, it is good!

Went to my cousins wedding last night in Frankenmuth! It was a BLAST! Great people, great fun! Got REAL DRUNK, but loved every second of it! The only downside is the lack of single hot chicks. There was one! But every single guy in the wedding party was all over her, PLUS she already has 2 kids which puts her in the little to fertile class for me The best part was that at 11 p.m. when everyone is drunk the brought out an astounding array of snacks! Soft Pretzels w/ cheese, cheese sticks, chips & salsa, Pizza and Hot dogs croissants! Absolutely delicious! It was BEER HEAVEN. Seriously I didn't even know if I was dreaming or not. Turns out NOPE! It was legit! lol, So if you ever get a chance to go to a wedding in Frankenmuth, you may also experience beer heaven! May you love it as much as I did!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Now We Wait/Motorcycle Ride

So Bridge signed the papers and we now have to wait 21 days for this shit to be over. Im looking forward to moving on.

On a MUCH happier note me & my friend Katie who I have known for like 5 yrs went on a motorcycle ride yesterday. We went about 50 mi, it was very relaxing for me and she enjoyed it as well, I know what you're think, yes im still married, we are just friends, she wanted a ride and i decided id give her one...wait that sounded bad lol!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Filing...

Bridgette hates when I post divorce shit on my blog, but oh well! Filed for divorce today, it was surreal, kind of sad and a HUGE pain in the ass! Not only did we drop $150 for some "paperwork" but now we are gonna lose our ass on our house! GREAT! 2008 is almost done though, bring on 2009! its a new year of opportunity for yours truly, anyone have a hot sister?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Realtors Blow

WARNING ANGRY BOBBY G RANT!

So me & Bridgette are trying to sell our house, neither one of us can afford keep it by ourselves, so we need to let it go. We decided to get a realtor, my boy JD hooked us w/ a guy and an appt, but he couldn't make it, then he couldn't make it again, then he got a new chick, i talked to her and made an appt for Mon at 5, she couldn't make it either, so we rescheduled for today at 5, I was fucking FURIOUS! I left that bitch an ANGRY ass voicemail, then she had the fucking nerve to call me and tell me she couldn't make it today and she had someone else on the case, I said OK, but this shit is unprofessional as fuck! SERIOUSLY, do appointments mean anything to these fucking people? Seriously? this is the #1 most difficult thing we have in this divorce, we missed 3 DAMN nice weekends to get this thing shown, guess what people don't go to open houses in the fucking winter, we have been inquiring for almost a month,. typically we'd be having an open house soon. Which as we know from HGTV is where it all happens! lol, I'm so fucking done w/ this, seriously if this dude fucking bails, FUCK REALTORS, right in their fucking ears......Rant Over

Walks With Dad

When i was younger and lived w/ my parents, me and dad would take walks all the time, our route was around 3 mi and took us about 35 mins or so, during these walks we'd talk about whatever was going on in our lives, this was in dad's peak of losing weight, he lost over 75 lbs on weight watchers (he has since gained it ALL back & more) now he's walking again, but he gets chest pains on the hills, he's gotten it checked out & they say things are fine, but it scares him so much that he is afraid to walk. Hopefully, we can keep this going, its good bonding time w/ dad, and its good exercise too.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

White Trash Bumper Sticker..

So I go grocery shopping this morning and I stop at a light, I get behind a RATTY Chevy Astrovan from the early 90's, it was two-toned, maroon & rust, on the back rear window there was a bumper sticker that said and I quote "Im not tailgating, I'm drafting, NASCAR" I was like WTF? on a early 90s Astrovan, it was hilarious!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Movie of My Life

Ive often thought about what if there was a movie of my life. Who would play me & my supporting cast, here we go!

Bobby G- Shia LaBouf, I wish it was someone better lol but hes hot right now and looks enough like me to make it work,

Bridgette- id go w/ Emma stone from Superbad fame, shes a redhead and she cute like Bridgette.

Big Tim- Id go w/ Seth Rogan! He looks like Big Tim even though hes YOUNGER

Big Chris- Chris Klein, the way he was in American Pie reminded me of Chris plus he looks kinda like him even though Big Chris is way shorter.(Btw I would picked Matthew LeBLanc but hes WAY older)

Ubish-Michael Cera, hes low key like Ubish & Sneaky funny like Ubish as well.

Acadia-Ubish' wife, Colby Smulders from How I Met Your Mother, shes tall and pretty & dark haired.

Casey Bowman-REVISED im going to go w/ Zach Braff w/ a buzzcutt, & a goatee, thats what CB said! lol

OK your Turn! Who would it be? Come on Bloggers Don't let me down!