Friday, November 27, 2009

So Many Thanks...

Yup, my year has been awful, terrible,  the worst of my life. Things just keep piling on. Shit just seems to be getting worse, but even though I have not had a ton of luck the last 18 months or so. I have a TON to be thankful for. A TON! Im thankful to have an amazing family, that is always by my side no matter how bad it gets, or how much I fuck up! I am thankful to have my health. I am thankful to have 2 jobs that I love, many people don't even have one. I am thankful to have the most amazing group of friends a guy could ask for. They have been my collective rock through all this BS. Offering support, advice, or even a drink to help get my mind off shit and focus on fun! I am thankful to have so much in my life! I am very fortunate on that front. I don't have a ton of money, I have bills coming out of my eyes, I have a lot of negatives, but the overwhelming number of positives in my life are far outnumbering them. And last but not least, I'm thankful for all of you bloggy friends! So many great comments, and condolences, I haven't met many of you, but I know you ALL are my friends!!! Love you guys!!!!! Happy holidays to all! 

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Working my Ass Off!!!

72 hrs last week between 2 job, not thats not a mis print, 72 HRS!!!!! I was SO damn dead last week. Just a tremendous strain, but good paychecks so thatll be nice!!!!

One year ago Sunday I met Lori. I was not however sad at all which was nice, and honestly unexpected. I thought it'd be a hard day, but it turns out, that it made me realize that she is in a better place w/ no depression. It was a HUGE breakthrough I feel, and therapy has helped a lot already!!!!

Really fun weekend! Friday had the annual Thanksgiving dinner after i got off work, which usually includes a ton of beer! lol I had only 5! I was so dead! 72 hr week, and I just couldnt hang all night. I slept like a baby!

Saturday, watched suck ass Michigan lose AGAIN! To OSU, which makes it worse, but there's always next year (I hope!)

That night me and my roomie went out, got some drinks and had a good ass time!!!! Worked at 11:30 yesterday, and got home watched TV an finished laundry. Overall it was a very fun weekend!!!!! Im on my way back to being me folks, it feels glorious!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I'd like to apologize for my recent sad posts. Going through some tough shit, and it helps to talk about it here. This is the post where I get back to being Bobby G again! One of my main problems is lately I haven't felt like me. I hate being sad all the time, I haven't experienced a situation like this in my life before. It's new, and awful. However, this weekend I felt like me! 

Friday, I went to see Bruce Springsteen with my dad! The show was amazing! I'm still not sure how a 60 yr old man can belt out his hits for 3 hrs (including a 45 min encore) and not be destroyed! lol. He messed up though and said hello OHIO! We booed lol! Then to make up for it he did a Michigan Medley, of songs by Seger, Mitch Ryder, and even a little Motown in the form of Jackie Wilson! It was so amazing, I'll be a Boss fan forever!!! 

Saturday I wasn't hungover (for once) and I was able to enjoy an unseasonably warm day in MI in the form of a very therapeutic Harley ride! I rode about 70 miles and really needed it! It helped me get some of the things on my mind off, and it felt so good! That evening I went over to a friends house, had a few beers, and witnessed a boxing ass whoopin at the hands of Manny Pacquiao. He destroyed Miguel Cotto, TKO in Rd. 12. 

Sunday worked 12 hrs at Apple (9hr shift, 3 hr meeting) and after that I went to have a few drinks with the crew! All in all it was an amazing weekend, that I really needed! I'm on my way back people! I couldn't be more excited to be me again! 

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Rapist, err...Therapist,

So I decided I should probably get treatment for this traumatic event that happened to me. I went to Eastern Michigan University's Psych Dept to get therapy by a PhD student there. I don't really care that he doesn't have his degree or license. I just wanted someone impartial to talk to. My friends and family are amazing, but I know them too well. Which sounds weird, but going through this shit I've been through has changed me. Plus its only $10 a session, so I'm excited about that! The 1st session went well, I talked about the event and held it together, it made me feel good, hopefully we have found something here!  I hope thee change is temporary, and I will find out in therapy. I wanna be ME again! I hate this overwhelming sadness, thats not how I am! Its not how I roll! It has been almost 3 weeks, which isn't a lot of time at all! So I know that time will heal me, I just wonder how much time it'll take. 

In GOOD NEWS! Going to see Bruce Springsteen at the Palace tonight w my dad! Got him tix for his bday! He's super excited and so am I! Love the Boss!!! Sorry for the short post, but I need to get back to work! Love you guys! Thanks for all your love and support, it means the world to me! 

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Long and Winding Road..

Recovering from this event is gonna be a long road. I am so grateful for my amazing friends and support during this time! I'm looking into therapy because I think it'll help me. I've heard nothing but good things from people on how it helped them cope. I'm doing pretty good. As good as can be expected. My day to day isn't too affected anymore, but the nights are rough. Also random shit reminds me of her, so getting through this initial stage is pretty tough. I loved her a lot, but also knew we couldn't be together. I feel if we WERE still together, it would've been so much harder. All the unanswered relationship questions. Her friendship was so important to me though. She was always my rock. During my divorce and the stuff around that time, she was always there. She gave amazing advice and she was so smart! She is surely missed. 

I've decided to do credit relief. After my house sold, as a short sale, my credit went from 740 to 580. OUCH! Well since my credit was so fucked I didn't see a problem w doing debt relief now. My old problem with it was that it'd fuck my credit up. NOW I don't care, cause its already bad. What happens is instead of pay $480 a mo in CC minimums. I pay $269 not to the card co, but to me in a savings account in my name. What this does is it allows me to save some money to negotiate a settlement w said CC co. I owed a total of $16K, it'll be settled for around $8K. Ill have it paid in JUST about 3 years. WHICH IS AMAZING! I'm looking forward to debt free living! 

In happy news! I got my free 16GB ipod nano from Apple a few weeks ago! 

I've been jammin out to songs at work! I love Pandora, but it plays the same songs all day and it costs $.99 after 40 hrs. These are MY SONGS! I own them, I love them, it ROCKS! never knew how much I missed my ipod! 

Ok folks! Thanks for all the wishes last night! Love you bloggies!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Hardest Blog I've Ever Had to Write...

I've had the longest hiatus since I've started blogging. It's been a  terrible time lately and I come to you folks today w a heavy heart. On Sunday October 25, My ex GF Lori (Broke up a month ago) died suddenly at the age of 32. By request from the family I won't say here how she passed, but it doesn't matter. Last week was a blur of phone calls, Funeral Home Visits, and burying the girl I loved. My grief was unexplainable, as I have never been through a loss like this. I've lost grandparents, and stuff to cancer, but this is so much different, so much worse. I wrote the obit for Lori's family. That's a situation that you don't wanna have to think about when you experience something like this.  I was so grief stricken time just all ran together. I didn't know what day it was or when I did certain things. Due to my grief, I made some decisions I regret. I was overbearing to the family. I needed to let them be, but I was almost obsessed with making sure they were OK. I also called some of Lori's friends I didn't know so well and offered my sympathies. They apparently were uncomfortable with that. I regret those decisions, but I was trying to help. There were consequences. I was only allowed 1 hr at the viewing per family request. I was happy to oblige, and honestly, more than an hr may of been too hard for me anyway. I know the family is upset with me, but we all grieve in different ways. I hope one day, they can forgive me. They are great people, and I cant imagine what they are going through as a family right now. I have no ill will towards them at all. they did what they felt they had to, and I will respect their decisions. The funeral was beautiful. Huge Catholic Mass, which, was very nice despite my religious beliefs. The funeral gave me good closure, and allowed me to move on. Her dad said at the funeral that she is finally happy now, and those words stuck with me. I always wanted to do my best to make her happy, and I know she is now. That for me, is calming. I loved her so much. Even though we were broken up, we had a tremendous friendship brewing. We could always tell each other anything, without judgement, and someone like that is rare. She was a beautiful person in & out, and she will be deeply missed by not only her family and I, but countless friends. One thing I can say is that the support I received was AMAZING! Facebook messages, and chats, emails, calls, texts, I have a GREAT group of family and friends to rally around, and they made all the difference in the world. I'm also going to see a therapist. I'm sure I have unresolved issues from my divorce. Which makes sense, but this is the last straw. I'm a really strong person, but this event has hurt me in a way I never have been hurt before. It would do me good to talk about it. 

This weekend was also Halloween and my bday. I know, happy fucking bday right? Actually it was QUITE great! Once again my friends and family really rallied around me to make my day special. Saturday, I hit a Halloween Party! I was dressed as magnum PI! Check me out!!!! 

Hilarious huh? And yes ladies that moustache is all mine! I felt like a creepy child molester for the record lol! I had a great time! Sunday me and a bunch of friends rolled to a local bar Sidetrack. I got drunk. No other way to put it. 4 25 Oz beers and 5 Irish Car Bombs later, some female friends were like "BG, what do you wanna do now? You wanna see some titties?" I said "HELL YEAH!" I went to the strip club for the first time in 8 years! It was good times! lol. I had 0 expectations for this bday, infact I didn't want to do anything, but people rallied around me and got me to go out. I had so much fun, it was a pretty damn good bday after all!!! Love you guys!!! R.I.P. My Lori...