Joy & Pain...

ZOMBIE FRIDAY!!!!

OK, it's not really Zombie Friday because I slept like a rock again! Levaquin is GREAT! They kicked us out of karaoke at like 12, so i was in bed at 12:30! Slept STRAIGHT through til 7:30! AHHHHH!

Yesterday was a day of TREMENDOUS JOY! And a bit of pain! First:

THE PAIN!!!

Well went to the Dentist to see if I needed a root Canal, what happened there was beyond my wildest imagination, and the Dentists too! They numb me up, and I start to chat w/ Laura, an attractive mother of 3 who commutes to Adrian everyday for work (we had 20 minutes, I now can write a full biopic pic about Laura, the chick who played Andrea in 90210 can play her)

I digress, but anyways I'm numb as fuck, but its JUST my right side so I can still talk, and am not drooling, but it does feel like someone crushed the shit outta my face and it's all swollen, its not, but Novocaine is a weird feeling! The make me open wide as shit and they start to check the tooth that had a potential Root canal, they ask me if it has been hurting and I'm like NOPE so they are optimistic. She starts drilling for like a few mins, and says to Laura, We got a problem here, I'm thinking WHAT THE FUCK is the problem? They get kinda frantic for a second, and start doing shit to my tooth, this and that (can't recall the dental jargon) finally the Dentist goes, I've sen this like 5 times in 30 years! NOT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR , I'M LIKE WTF is up? it's called Internal Resorption what is is is the living tissue cells, instead of form in UNDER the tooth, go INTO the tooth, and start decaying from the inside out. The space is taken over by a tissue, a lot like the gums in your mouth, so when they drilled into it, the pressure from the tissue hitting the tooth was released, and it starting shooting blood! they were like "teeth aren't supposed to bleed" I'm like "No shit" so they seal it w/ some cement that tasted like cloves, and I need to go talk to a oral surgeon, which means I will 100% get a root canal, and a crown, so that blows, I also still need ALL MY filling because they couldn't do shit as far as fillings go yesterday but they thanked me for making their day exciting, I wanted to be like FUCK YOU! But they were SUPER nice, and surprisingly gentle. So I said "NO PROBLEM!" So now im gonn abe buried up to my fuckin eyeballs in Dental debt, thank god I still have insurance! Now for

THE JOY!

After 9 months, many fights and fueds, and lots of frustration, we GOT 2 OFFERS ON THE HOUSE!!! We have been trying since September, its making my divorce NOT seem final, though it has been since December. Both people are pre approved, so it appears we are finally gonna be rid of it!!!! The bank decides, we sign, we move our shit! easy as 1-2-3. In honor of my Joy & Pain post, here is the vido for "Joy & Pain" By Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock

Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock - Joy And Pain (Official Music Video)

See ya next week!!!!!!

Thursday...Shaping up to be Shitty!

Woke up this morning with a migraine-esque headache. The pain is the same, but no nausea & blurry visions.

The medication I'm on (Levaquin) is giving me some VIVID Dreams! But they are all really fun, not scary or sad so its not a big deal.

People are digging the beard! DIGGIN IT! At work there is a poll going. Its 8 to 2 for the beard, and the 2 don't mind the beard, they just like my "baby face" better. Do I have a baby face? Maybe a fat babies face lol.

Been jammin out to Flight of The Conchords Lately. For those not familiar they are a folk duo from New Zealand, here is my fav song by them, also the most backhanded compliment song ever!



I'm not excited for karaoke tonight, it seems since my buddy CB stopped going everyone else has stopped too, that's lame. The shows are small and i feel like they might pull the plug

As we were speaking, my co-workers gave me my new nickname is "Beardy G" I like it!

Made $15 at job 2, WASTE OF TIME! We didn't even get any real Redwings Traffic (GO WINGS)

OK headache is over powering, no more computer! Love you guys! Zombie Friday returns tomorrow!

Random Rainy Stuff!

Its raining today so I slept like a Fucking rock! Always sleep better when it rains...

On a new medication, for my 50 yr old prostate, I was reading online and all these people were talking about all these outlandish side effects, it was comical! I Highly Doubt Levaquin causes BRAIN DAMAGE (No shit), I wasn't even scared, I was just like this is NUTS...

The more I think about it, the more I feel the Crocodile Hunter went out like a bitch. He was always sticking his head in alligators mouths and shit, getting bit by cobras, and he dies from a stingray? like 2 people a year die from a stingray! Makes me sad...

Vanna White still is hot as hell! She has the world's easiest job, I'm jealous. You think Pat Sajak ever hit that...

I hate umbrellas, it has to be pouring rain and I'll need to be walking for like 10 miles before I bust out an umbrella, though I don't have ladies hair, which apparently makes all the difference in the world. I just hate having this wet thing in my area taking up space...

It pisses me off when people beat animals. They are fucking cowards. They need to be in a federal pound them in the ass prison for fucking life!

Kenny G fixed the Bobby G ride so its at least presentable! It went from this

to this!

Hes not a body shop guy, but it turned out MUCH better than it was...

Weird people are at the grocery store at 8:00 a.m. I hit Krogers to get work shit, and it looked like the place was ran by, and shopped at by ZOMBIES...

Why do drive up ATMs have Braille on the keypad? Oh also don't say ATM machine is is it a Automatic Teller Machine Machine? If so, you go to the school of redundancy school

Here is your Dose of Wednesday Wu Tang!



You're Welcome!

OK folks! Be back tomorrow! Enjoy your day!

IM BACK BITCHES! Time Machine Tues: LEGOS!

OK lots to talk about, I missed Zombie Friday because I had the day off, so NO ZOMBIE for me, I slept like a fucking rock! It was fantastic, though I was PAINFULLY Sore from picking up 800 lb police motorcycles all day! It kicked my ass!

Which brings me to my time Machine Tuesday Post! LEGOS! the greatest toy ever! I loved Legos as a kid! All day id play with those shits, making DOPE ass spaceships and stuff! Id get the kits and build the stuff up! The biggest kit I ever built was a pirate ship!

It was like 900 pieces! it took 8 hours, but when you're ten you have 8 hrs to build bad ass Lego ships! Anyone here play with Legos?

Random Thoughts:

If you wear a "Worlds Greatest Dad" shirt in public, you probably aren't!

There is a new show on A & E after Intervention on Mondays called Obsessed! ITS GREAT! its about OCD and curing it in people, very riveting

Ive been growing a beard because of the red Wings playoff run, its getting legit! Check out my bad ass look on my face too!


Word!

So I'm officially an old man, at age 30 I got prostatitis! Yes Its an inflamed prostate, actually its common, but COME ON! I'm 30! And pissing like a 50 year old!

John & Kate plus 8 was JUICY AS SHIT! Kate is a bitch! True, John may of did something wrong, but I don't think he cheated. He put himself in a bad situation, TRUE, but the episode was NUTS! The way they are talking its like they are divorced! sad times for those kids.

Had a great Harley ride with the girlfriend! we went 103 miles, and it was great times!

I feel like I'm getting a cold, I'M PISSED!

Today is Tues, it feels like Mon. That's surreal.

JUSTIN VERLANDER (Tigers Pitcher) IS A MONSTER! Man crush confirmed!

OK folks! That's all for today! Enjoy your Tuesday!

Sunday....(sigh)

Sunday's blow! This one not as bad as others, because I don't have to work tomorrow, but its worse because I am hungover as shit! We went to a bar in Plymouth, they have $2 PBRs which apparently gives me a green light to drink 11! Yes that's right, 11 PBRs at the bar! I am apparently retarded. This morning I feel retarded. Like why the fuck do I occasionally find it necessary to try to be 21. At age 30, it doesn't work out well! AT ALL! I don't recall the last time I had 11 beers at a bar. Its been a hot minute. Well yesterday was not the time to relive my youth. Its a gorgeous day, and I don't have the energy to do shit! No drinks tonight, gonna chill w the lady. Harley ride tomorrow, ill check you guys on Tuesday! Time to drink water and recover! PEACE!

Police (Crash) Riding School..

So Ive been riding Motorcycles since I was 15. I have skills, It has been acknowledged that I have skills. But Today I got hit w/ a Huge monster dose of humbleness. All I've known was wrong. Everything I learned had to be unlearned, in 3 hrs. I didn't work out. I had  shit ton of bad habits that needed to be dealt with. They kinda got dealt with but not without some issues, make that SHIT TONS OF ISSUES. First off, I didn't use my own bike, so I wasn't used to the ride, which sounds like an excuse. It is, these bikes are heavier, and larger, and I wasn't used to them, but a good rider just rides, here is the bike I rode . 

Nice huh? Well That was until I got a hold of it, I crashed...ALOT, no injuries due to the slow speeds of the exercises, but I was on the ground a TON! I had no idea it'd be this tough. SERIOUSLY! BRUTAL That's a 800lb bike. I had to pick it up each time. I learned a technique to make it easier, but when you do it so much it kicks your ass. I learned SO MUCH. A TON, and it will make me a better rider. But, I can't say I wasn't embarrassed as shit. Though everyone fell at least once, it still made me feel shitty. But its part of learning. A BIG PART! I'm excited as shit to use my new skills both o the road, and on the range! May go up north tomorrow on the bike, hit Mackinac, and other hot spots, May not also, you never know w/ BG! But I will utilize this weekend! Its gonna be great! 

American Idol, Worst Season Ever

THANK GOD ITS ALMOST OVER! This season has been a nightmare. Now Adam Lambert is a good singer, but a total freakshow, he will do well regardless. Kris Allen is a broke ass Jack Johnson, without the guitar skills. And so now its come down to this. I feel like Adam has to win, hes TONS better than Kris, but Kris has the ladies vote (Adam has the gay men's vote lol) But overall based on talent its a runaway. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the biggest ass whoopin in AI history. Now whats with the 2 hr finale? everyone ON EARTH is gonna be there singing, plugging their shit and we all just wanna see who wins.  Last night they had 3 songs. Their best performance of the season (read repeat) A song chose by the creator Simon Fuller, and a song Written by Kara Dioguardi. Also known as the WORST SONG EVER!!!!! Don't believe me? Here it is below! 

TOLD YOU! and what was up w/ Paula last night? she was practically orange, with a lime green shirt, and probably drunk! Why do the producers at AI even let her talk. She should just hold up a sign and say Yay or Nay! She's a mess. While we are on fashion patrol, Randy Jacksons Suit, REALLY? it was RIDONK! It was like blue plaid, did he hit the thrift store before hand? This is the AI finale! Not some auditon or even Hollywood week! I hope to GOD that Kara is gone next season. She is TERRIBLE! Plus with that song she wrote, WOW! DONE! OK short, lame post today, but there are many exciting things on the horizon! Talk to you all soon! 

Time Machine Tuesday: Big Wheels! Also: Dentissues

Hell yeah! it was the early 1980's I was a lower case G, and I needed a dope way to roll around, didn't yet have the coordination to ride a bicycle, and wasn't yet tall enough for a tricycle, so enter the BIG WHEEL! This 3 wheeled marvel was the ultimate in child transportation. Adjustable seat for kids of all sizes, OK, two... mine was a Dukes of Hazard one, Like the one below (that isn't me on there) 

Note the hand brake on the side that lets you do top notch spinouts! We rolled strong! 

This brings me to the Dentissues, OK, I'm not proud to say this, but I haven't been to the dentist in 7 years. The first 5 years was because I didn't have insurance, the next 2 years were well, laziness. My dentist was in Dexter(not anymore, about 25 mins away) and I hated going there. I went once a month for 5 years when I had braces and I was dentisted out. That being said it was STUPID. How stupid you ask? How about 6 cavities, 2 wisdom teeth need to be removed and a root canal. all this before July 23 when my insurance runs out. GREAT! The good news is my gums are strong, because I floss twice a day, but my teeth have mad holes in them. I have to get a prescription tooth paste (I'm not bullshitting, they have those) so that'll be fun! Sheesh, Note to self, go to the dentist, it'll avoid you MAD issues in the future! So tomorrow, Ill be back w/ a post, but Thursday I have to go to a police riding class! It teaches you the techniques to ride with precision, I'M STOKED! So prob no Post Thurs and Fri I have off to get ready for my garage sale, So I may be MIA for a bit! Full report on the class soon! Peace Bitches!!!!!!!

Weekend Recap!

Well I don't typically blog on the weekend unless there is some Crazy as shit going down, here is what I did This weekend!

Friday I hit a happy hour w/ my friend KH, my friends E-Freds and my GF. Had some beers, and some DOPE ass $5 nachos! (Yeah Fiesta Fridays) Twas delicious! Had to cash out early to get my ass up at 5:30am, yes THAT 5:30, still cold, dew on the ground, mild fog, etc. I hit the hay at about 10:00 pm, which got me thinking, when was the last time I went to bed on a Friday when I wasn't sick? I guessed probably not since drinking age 9 yrs ago, yeah its pretty ridonk! lol

Sat got my ASS UP and had to go to a motorcycle skills competition, I am awaiting some pics from my esteemed colleagues for a full blog post on that, but here is a teaser Pic where I'm running shit!

I get back from the challenge and decided to eat my WEIGHT in Chillis fajitas, they were GREAT! Then at about 8 or so, went to my GFs house and we hit a little bar called baileys, got a few drinks and went to bed!

I decided I'm gonna grow a beard for a bit, mainly I'm tired of shaving, plus the Redwings are runnin shit in the playoffs which is a great thing so why not?

Sunday I get up and head over to a bike parts sale at a friends house. Her hubby died on a trip (not from an accident, but from a heart attack at the hotel) and she was selling a bunch of parts she had. I didn't buy anything but there was a nice ladies leather jacket there, hmmmmm my GF needs a jacket! After I get back she decides to blow off her parents Sunday dinner and go on a bike ride with me! it was VERY therapeutic and she said that as soon as we got going she felt 100% better as far as not caring about issues that are going on, it really cleared her head & mind! We about froze our asses off though, while I had some cold weather gear i didn't have enough for both of us, so being the good BF I am I gave her the extra gear, my coat is MUCH more substantial than hers so i had to be a man and it turned out well. Went over there last night (see a trend, that's what happens when by circumstance you have to move in w/ the rents, you want OUT) Had a few showing for the house this weekend, fingers crossed on that. got my severance info from work. Its closing July 23, and ill be getting a sizable amount of money back, going to pay off a CC save some and maybe a mini vacation for BG (hey I fucking deserve it!) so that was essentially my weekend, more pics and a detailed post about the sat riding competition as soon as I get pics!

Zombie Fragemented Brains Friday!

ZOMBIE FRIDAY! 

So Instead of just saying I'm a Zombie from knocking out karaoke, I'm just going to have you assume that I am in fact a Zombie, and that Zombie Friday is now the name of my random fragment post for Friday Dopeassness (that's for you Bee!). Deal? Cool....

Today is sucking ass I'm tired as balls! I bet your wondering how tired are balls, well if were hanging all day long with no where to put your feet, how tired will you be? 

Tomorrow I got to get up at the fucking ASS CRACK of dawn literally 5:30 and ride the Harley to a motorcycle competition! It's a riding skills competition and its gonna be fun times, I'll prob be the youngest guy there at age 30, but I'll show those fuckers a thing or two. 

On the way home from karaoke last night, at about 1:30, I came onto a fucking sea of police cars and ambulances, it was like NOTHING i have ever seen! There was a car that was JUST FUCKED it was eerie as shit, cause I knew someone died, and that's NOT a good feeling. I was right.

I wish I was cashed out in my queen sized bed w/ pillow top mattress. Thatd be DOPE! Instead I'm at work...grrr.....

Speaking of work, tomorrow or today I should find out how much money i'll get for my severance. The last day of the Ann Arbor News is July 23. that blows...

So 1st it was Explorer that I couldn't post w my blog w/ the pic icon, then it was Firefox, So now I have switched to Google Chrome Browser. ITS BAD ASS! Plus it allows me to post to my beloved blog! So you guys win too! YAY! Here is the VIDEO CHROME, by Trace Adkins, word.

Trace Adkins More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Getting drinks w/ the lady after work, since I have NO CHOICE but to be old, due to my early ass morning, I gotta get my drinks in early! It IS FRIDAY after all! Friday is for drinks, and Saturday, and even Sunday sometimes... Word...

Has anyone ever lost their job and knew it was coming? Seriously, it's hard as SHIT to be motivated...I'm basically just going through the motions! 

This is my desk, can you tell I've given up? 

I'm PISSED I forgot my soup today. That means instead of tasty soup I'm stuck w/ a sandwich, pretzels and cheese....GRRRRR

So it turns out, by some RANDOM FUCKING FATE, that YaYa likes Male Bloggers, I lucked out because I happen to like Ya Ya bloggers, there are WAY more male bloggers then YaYa, I'm fortunate... 

It WAY easier to blog when your works Internet connection doesn't SUCK ASS....

I should be done with this post, but rambling on is FUN! 

A guy just placed an ad for an old truck, he said Runs like Obama, looks like McCain, HILARIOUS! 

Twitter is Gay, why do I use it...

FUCK!!!!!!!!

That feels better! Sometimes I just gotta let that out! 

So back when I was single, I used to hit on the ladies! A LOT! Being Bobby G and all, in all my royal doucheness I would introduce myself as Bobby G. Inevitably they'd say "what does the G stand for" now the answer would depend on my level of drunkassness. when properly liquored up, I' d say something like this. "Gonna-buy-you-a-drink-and-get-your-number-I'm-gonna-take-you-home-and-do-what-you-want-me-to-then-we-will-get-breakfast-in-the-morning, its hyphenated! Never worked really...

I'm not A D D, OK I've never been diagnosed, but i am, shit! anyone got some Attarol? Love you guys! See ya MONDAY!  

More Restaurant Observations!

Hey all! I worked last night at the bar, and had a GREAT amount of interesting tables! Let's discuss!

Thats a Hindu-zy!

Had an Indian table (dots not feathers, focus people) A few things I'd like to discuss. Why do they NEVER want ice in their drinks? this baffles me, but they make it a POINT to say NO ICE! I enjoy a few more oz of liquid, but Its like a serious issue there! Also, this is not restaurant related, but Indian folks always take the long way to say something, Yes, I mean the NEVER use contractions. EVER. Its never Don't, its do not, its never can't its Can not, it's actually better English, but being an American for so long I have grown lazy! That's how I roll.

Same Side Booth Sitters

This was mentioned in my comments last time, it happened last night. This total asshole w/ a CHICK way to hot for him came into the restaurant and decided to get a sample of every fucking red wine we had, that's right ALL OF THEM (8 total) They sat on the same side of the booth. I'm not sure if she was mute, or he just wouldn't let her speak but she never said anything! Just nodded her head yes & no, she was like a smoking hot Helen Keller.

Teenage Brokeassness

I have been a broke ass teenager. Its true! I mean shit, I'm a broke ass adult! But I have never gone to a restaurant and as a 6 person table ordered 6 waters and fries. That's all! Some people got wings, but the had a 50% off coupon, so the 6 tops total bill was $27, thanks for that.

Dickhead Managers

Anyone who works at a restaurant has had an asshole manager or two, or 12! But i never understood the point of it. If you are going to dedicate your career to being a mgr at a restaurant, why not be fun, and cool, you will have a boatload more success as a cool manager getting people to do shit, then you will being an asshole! We have a manager who is always on my shit, it's probably because I'm the only not kitchen employee who has a cock, but I digress, i never want tot do shit for him because he comes at me disrespectfully, show me respect, I'll do the same.

And last but not least,

Work Sexual Harassment

Now if it wasn't for sexual harassment, restaurants would be a shitty place to work! Lot's of attractive, often hungover/drunk people, means lots of good times, lots of ass smacks, and lots of sexual comments! I love it! I for some reason don't come across as creepy, I'm sweet and fun, which allows me to grab an ass or make a comment consequence free! I love my live! That's all for today people! Enjoy your Thursday and go RED WINGS!

Welcome to Wednesday BG/Great Tuesday!

So this morning I wake up, start to head home. decide i want a delicious McSkillet burrito from Mickey D's, but the drive-thru line was too long, so I continue to the house, get my lunch, and then roll back to the same drive-thru and wait in line. I get to the window and my car's coolant light comes on. I look at the temp guage and its ready to over heat. So I exit the drive thru and find the nearest parking lot. Pop the hood and its all smokey and smells like burning. Call KG and he says mom will come scoop me up, I did after all have to do obits today. So she drops me off, and now I wait in limbo. I have to work tonight, will I have the BG ride to roll me there?

Last night was a blast, me and the Gf rolled to Outback in Canton. she got a salad, I got the peppermill steak.

A pepper encrusted steak served on a BED of potato wedges and drenched with a Brandy creme sauce. D-Fuckin-Licious. Washed it all down w/ a couple of tall Foster's, it is after all "AUSTRALIAN for Bea" The GF got this DELICIOUS drink called a Wallaby Darned, a CRAZY peach concoction, I was looking on line to see what the calories of our meals were, and I saw this drink, I look and say OH SHIT! she says what? I say "that drink has 582 calories in it!" She's like OH SHIT! I cant drink that! So like a good BF I finish it for her =). After that we went bowling, I used to be a decent bowler back in the day, but it has been a SOLID 2 years since I bowled. the GF says she hadnt bowled in 10 years! So our first games shpwed our rust. I bowled a 122 and she bowled a 96. The 2nd game the satrts w/ 2 strikes, and keeps getting spares, she finished with a career high 176! I was like DAMN GIRL! i shot 157 that game. The 3rd game we were getting tired, i shot 141 and she shot like 65! It was REALLY fun though, we are going to do it more often! we get home and watch American Idol (so long Chris?) and then watch the Biggest Loser finale. Helen was the winner! She went from this:

to this:

Congrats Helen! NOT ONLY DO YOU LOOK GREAT, but you have added MANY extra years to your life, and $250,000 to your wallet!! its WIN WIN! OK now I'm gonna try to stay awake at work! Enjoy, happy HUMP DAY!

Time Machine Tuesday-Crystal Pepsi/The Rusty & Audrey Conundrum.

This post is gonna be a long one. So let's get to it! It was the Summer of 1993. I was busy as hell eatin the shit out of Airheads, and killing frozen Mountain Dews from Buddies party store! (.89 cent refills all summer!)  Well some GENIUS at Pepsi decided it'd be a good idea to make Pepsi clear. Why? I don't fuckin know, but that's what they deiced to do.  they enlisted the song of Van Halen's right Now (one of the best videos of the 90s See Commercial below!) 

The marketing was INSANE! Spent Millions,  with the tag line You've Never Seen a taste Like This" They said it tasted JUST like regular Pepsi, it didn't, it was fuckin sick! Just AWFUL! it only lasted a few months, and it was a colossal bust, but hey, it lives on at the G spot right? so its not a total loss! Thanks Pepsi! 

Now that is out of the way, it's time to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while. I love the Vacation movies (not so much European, but the other 3 are good times) WTF is up w/ the Rusty's and Audrey's in those flicks? all VASTLY different, all ages, shapes sizes etc. So here is a break down of theRustys and Audreys from all 4 vacation flicks. 

Rusty 

Vacation

Anthony Michael Hall

European Vacation 

Jason Lively 

Christmas Vacation

Johnny Galecki 

Vegas Vacation 

Ethan Embry 

Recap: Anthony Michael Hall from Vacation was an 80's icon, starring in just about every John Hughes flick. Jason Lively, European Vacation, never did shit (though he was in Rock N Roll High School Forever with Corey Feldman in the EARLY 90s. We Wont count that...LOL) Johnny Galecki Christmas Vacation was David in Roseanne, and now stars in the Big Bang Theory (great show) . Ethan Embry, from Vegas Vacation was in Empire Records, and Cant Hardly Wait, both good times, he was in other notable things also. Funny story about Vegas Vacation. we were driving to see it when I ran a yellow light, got pulled over and my buddy didn't have his seat belt on. He tried to throw it on, and the cops thought he had drugs so he got pulled out, searched, his balls got felt (yeah frisking) it was so funny, he was so violated!  

AUDREY 

Vacation

Dana Barron (hotness Rating 3rd) 

European Vacation

Dana Hill (Hotness Rating 4th) 

Christmas Vacation

Juliette Lewis (Hotness rating 2nd) 

Vegas Vacation

Marisol Nichols (Hotness rating 1st) 

Recap: Dana Barron never really did too much. But she was the original, so bonus pts there. Dana Hill actually passed away in 1996 a stroke, RIP. Juliette Lewis has been in TONS of films! Loved Natural Born Killers, she is the most famous out of all of them. And Marisol Nichols is on 24, so she is an up & comer, smokin hot, she was the only Audrey w/ any real sex appeal in the roll. I appreciate that. 

So the Question still remains, why so vastly different from kid to kid. Well initially they wanted to get Anthony Michael Hall for European Vacation but he did Weird Science instead. So they went w/ a tall skinny, shitty acting douchebag! After that it feels like they were like how different can we get them! either way, each rusty and Audrey had their place in the series, and each one is good in their own way.  

NEW LOOK!

Hey all! Lee at Perpetual Burn designed me a SICK BG Flavored layout. What more BG than Harleys & Pinup girls? NOTHING! Thanks Lee! Love you girl!

If Not Even Mad That's AMAZING...

Game on the line, man on 1st, Tigers up 1-0. Grady Sizemore hits a SHOT to center and....


Go CURTIS, go TIGERS!

FUN AWARD! Frantic Friday!

So I was checking my Blogs that I love to read and my GIRL Shila the Pwn Star Gave me a blog award!
I typically don't do blog awards, but this one has some funniness to it! Here is the award!


Word! SO Now I gotta list my 5 obsessions at the moment so here they are

1.Guns N Roses- Fucking love this band and have been listening to the hell out of Chinese Democracy lately, the album took like 15 years to come out, it's fantastic.

2. Blogging- Yes lame I know, but I make a post EVERY Non-Weekend day ( I'm important w/ important shit to do!)

3. My Harley- Its spring, its time to ride the steel beauty. I keep that bitch immaculate, but also, I ride the shit out of it, its NOT so immaculate right now, infact its fucking dirty. Looks like I ran through a swarm of bugs! They are everywhere.

4. Detroit Tigers Baseball/Detroit Redwings Hockey- Love this time of year! The Wings are on their way to another championship! and the beginning of the Tigers season always holds so much hope, that is if their pitching doesn't fall apart!

5. diet Coke w/ Lime- I drink like 1000 of these a day, its so damn Delicious and its the ULTIMATE pop to go with Captain Morgan's Rum...

OK, now I get to tag 5 people!

1.Lee-At Perpetual Burn For cracking me up on the regular! Plus shes my link into teenage drama, she keeps me young(ish)

2. Sarah Colby- MY GIRL! So glad to see your blog taking off, figured Id throw you an award, keep up the good work!

3. YAYA- This girl has be laughing 1 minute and damn near in tears the next! But that kind of emotion is what I LOVE!

4. Bee over at Bee & Rose she is quickly becoming my number one fan! I mean I got a ton of fans, but I'm HER favorite =)

5. Cat over at Zip Bag of Bones- Probably the funniest chick on the planet, I'm NOT lying!

Thank you my Dear SHILA! it was fun!

Now for the ACTUAL BLOG!

Its Friday and a few things have been annoying the shit out of me lately. So I decided to take some time to BITCH lol.

John Gosselin From John & Kate Plus 8.



OK, John has been accused of cheating on Kate. Cheating is the worst thing a person can do. I HAVE NEVER CHEATED EVER! never Would, its a terrible act, but, that being said, if I HAD to find a justifiable situation, it'd be this one. KATE IS NUTS! and a TOTAL BITCH. She doesn't respect him at all on the show, plus he has 8 fucking kids running around! Now DON'T get me wrong. He got himself in this mess. He knew Kate was nuts BEFORE they got married I bet. HE HAD TOO. Plus TLC gives the $98,000 per episode! that's right $98K! That's NUTS TOO! Those kids are living FAT! I'm not saying he should've done it, but I understand...

Ok the NEXT thing that's been pissing me off is in the fashion world. Its shirts that look like they have tattoos on them. here is one below.



And another One



OK now SERIOUSLY! Do you want a tattoo or not? If you do, GET ONE! if not STOP looking like a douchebag. Seriously, the look isn't working for me. It reminds me of MMA fighters or something, HATE IT!

Pearl Jam- Yup still hate them, I was just checking...

Happy weekend people! Ill catch ya on MONDAY! G-Spot OUT!

Like A Rock/ I Basically Shit

Job 2 was GREAT last night. Made $65 (last week I made $75 the whole week) and it was great. I was tired as shit however, due to my 7am to 10pm day. Also the fact that I was UP early as shit (5:30am) cause I had to go in for obits. I got home went upstairs, wasn't SHIT on, so I ate some chits (word) and went to bed at 10:30. Didn't have to get up until 7:45, I SLEPT GREAT! it was AMAZING! I feel so refreshed and rejuvenated! What a great day! (Cheeriness, I know what happened to the REAL Bobby G)

So Now this is where the blog post gets shitty, literally. (I don't fuck up the use of the word literally. People are all like "That was so funny I literally shit my pants" I'M like no you didn't...lol) I have IBS it stands for I Basically Shit (Ok it stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome) But I basically shit. Up to 10 times a day (I KNOW) its very obnoxious, but besides that it affects my life typically in an adverse way. I have become used to it however. I know that when I eat ill probably have to shit soon. I'm terrified of being on a boat (No bathroom for a long time) Also I have NO fear of public restroom shitting, because I CANT! Sometimes there is NO CHOICE. Ive become VERY good at holding it lol. Not good I know, but MUCH better than the alternative! There are 2 types of IBS. The I shit all the time kind, and the I never shit ever kind. Mine used to be kind of a hybrid of both. Shit all the time in the AM, NEVER SHIT in the PM. But now its just the one kind (is that better?) The bitch of it is there is NOTHING they can do. They can prescribe anti depressants, but the side effects on those things are nuts, and I cant drink alcohol so FUCK THAT lol. PS alcohol is one of the triggers, I typically ignore that one lol, there is a new medicine I got that's supposed to help, but it makes it AWFUL for like a week. Which if I'M at work could be an issue, so I'm waiting for a vacation. Basically I just learned to live with it. Ive missed weddings, vacations and great times because of it, but since I got it under control I can basically predict when ill have to shit, and make it happen. This is PROBABLY WAY MORE INFO than you EVER wanted to know about me, but now ya know! PS I Said SHIT 10 times in this post, that strangely NOT a record lol

Bike Returned, and Other Observations...

Well I got my bike back yesterday! I am stoked. I took it to the local bike shop to get it checked out (it never has been checked out before...ever!) I needs a tuneup, fix the shifter, and the rear wheel needs to be trued. But its worth fixing, and its in good shape...

I'm nauseous today, it sucks...

why do mom jeans have no pockets? Do moms not need to carry shit?

Made a dentist appt today, its been 7 years. I didn't have dental insurance for 4 years, and the last 3 I have been lazy. its REALLY TIME though, I keep up on my teeth but I need to get checked out!

Sorry for the LAME ass post, No fun shit to say today! Enjoy your Wednesday folks!

Time Machine Tuesday: Nintendo, Bumper Sticker, Gaywad, BGs Ass, and Fupas.

NES! The most successful video game console EVER! EVERYONE had an Nintendo, the best games ever were on regular NES, Super Mario Bros (1-3) Legend of Zelda (1 & 2) Contra, RBI Baseball, Blades of Steel, Top Gun, and HUNDREDS of other games! I still have my old Nintendo, but it's struggling to be. The games don't really work without 25 mins of fucking around with it, also Playing on my flat screen the pixels are about the size of a dime, so its super blurry! But I don't care, because when it does work (AKA when I dont lose patience and want to throw the fucking thing out of the window) it still the most fun of any systems Ive played!



In a little mini segment of TMT, my GF called me a Gay Wad yesterday, I haven't heard that shit in YEARS, so I told her I'd add it to the blog!

On the way to work today there was this car (sigh) and on said car was about 10 Jesus related bumper stickers. The best thing though was the license plate, it read "Died4u" I was like WTF?

Ill never forget the day I realized I had an ass. It happened seemingly overnight. I was taking a shower and when i got out I happened to notice the beast protruding off my back. I was like WTF? Where'd that come from. Well apparently my pants ALSO didn't notice cause that week I killed like 4 pairs. It was NUTS! I didn't even want to wear pants for fear of destruction! I couldn't bend over, couldn't stretch, NOTHING, or my apparently fragile pants would crumble under the pressure. Having an ass has its perks though! My pants stay up, I get my ass smacked A LOT by the ladies! Better cushioning in the event of a fall, or a long Harley Ride. Having an ass is great, I just hope I don't have a man FUPA someday. (Fat Upper Penis Area) Its like a bubbly lump over my junk,its filled with fat and its AWFUL see below:



Its more prominent in ladies though, so a man FUPA is the WORST! Dont forget to weigh in on these topics in the comment section!

Bike! Shafted, then Redeemed!

I have been looking for a bike. Bicycle,I already got a Bad Ass Harley. Well on Wednesday night after job 2 I rolled down to Deerfield MI (AKA Middle of fucking no where) and picked up 2 used Huffy's in need of love for $40. 1 boys and 1 girls. Well I couldn't pre-ride them due tot the flat-assness of the tires. So I took them home and got them in the light and realized I may of been taken. I don't think I was INTENTIONALLY ripped off, because the lady was a giant struggling to be white trash chick, I'm sure she just knew CRAP about bikes (as her ASS would indicate.) My buddy works in a bike store so he told me to bring them around and he'd see whats up with them. After about 5 mins he said...ummm sorry dude. This bike is fucked (only brought the guys bike) so he told me what we could do and he also let me ride a new Bad ass bike.


The Trek Navigator 2.0, this bike is what is called a comfort bike. GREAT SEAT and VERY comfy riding position, however, the bike did not take into consideration my awful fitness level, and after NO SHIT 5 mins, I was DYING! I'm sore as FUCK today! The bike costs $400 so OBVIOUSLY Not a purchase I can make, but it was fun to ride. So I gave my old bike to my friend Carlie when hers got stolen, it was a NICE bike! I hadn't ridden it in years, so I let her have it, well she said I can have it back, which makes me feel like a Indian Giver, cause I am. But she is adamant that its cool, she has a new bike coming her way, so I am happy. I'm gonna get a SUPER COMFY Seat for it. And try to mimic the riding position of the bad ass new bike I was riding. So welcome back to probable fitness BG, its also gonna be a good GF bonding tool as she likes to ride. She is all like, "There is this 40 mile trail.." I'm like SLOW DOWN! lol 5 mins busted my ass to angriness, baby steps, baby steps...

The Bobby G Deep Dictionary Volume 1

Some of my older, more loyal readers, may recall a segment called the Bobby G deep dictionary. Well a new (and hilarious) reader Bee said I should have a dictionary, so here are my old posts, and some new ones

Brokeassness

Broke-Ass-ness (Adj)

1. To be incredibly poor

OH, Id LOVE to go to the bar tonight, but I can't due to my Brokeassness.

2. Very Broken, Shitty.

The Bobby G rides Brokeassness is astounding.

Fucked Up-edness!
Fucked-up-ed-ness (adj)

To be very fucked up/un watchable

I tried to watch Rock of Love Bus, but the fuckedup-edness was too damn much!


Specticalacular

Spec-Tickle-Ac-ular (Adj)

To look fantastic (spectacular) in glasses.

Man Liz Hurley is fly but w/ her glasses on shes Specticalacular


Leftermost/Rightermost

Left-er-Most, Rite-er-most (Adj)

Definition- Farthest left or farthest right

Example

See those 2 left turn lanes? You are going to get into the Leftermost lane, that way you wont have to merge back over.-

Ridonk
Re-Donk(Adj)

Ridiculous

Example
Dude did you see Magglios Home run last night, that was RIDONK!

Other versions- Ridonkulous

Raunch-Deez
Raunch Deez (Adj)
Something really nasty.
Example:
Man that fart was Raunch-Deez dude, I think my dog just died.