Tuesday, March 31, 2009

BG Gets his Ober-on and other stuff!

This blog is gonna be long! Lots to talk about today! Let's get started!

Well yesterday was kind of like a holiday for Bobby G. It was Oberon opening day! For those of you not from MI or not familiar w/ Oberon, it is a delicious summer beer that's made by Bells Brewery in Kalamazoo MI. It has delicious citrus undertones, over a full bodied wheat beer, quite exquisite! Usually served w/ an orange, i always say NO ORANGE! Because I'm a FIRM believer that beer shouldn't have fruit in it, except Corona, because if you don't put Lime in Corona I'm pretty sure you can die, it's that fucking awful! Anyways back to Opening day, this in the past has been a day of GREAT DRUNK-ASSNESS! Oberon is around 6%, so its fairly potent, but the sugar in it causes BRUTAL almost wine-like hangovers, so this year me and my brother on had 3 pints each! it was DELICIOUS! My problem with Oberon is that by early May I grow tired of it. I'm done, I can't deal with it anymore! I go back to my Newcastles, and other beers! Still Oberon Opening day is GREAT! it's even more great when you win a DOPE T-shirt in a raffle!


So I was reading my friend Becky's blog today and she was talking about her irrational fear/Deep inner fucking hatred of of snakes and it got me thinking about my fears/hatreds! My biggest fear is of chemicals. I HATE CHEMICALS! All types of chemicals, my 3 approved chemicals are Pledge, Windex and Formula 409. "But Bobby G", you ask, "How do you clean bathrooms?" Oh, that's easy I DON'T! Not tubs anyways, I clean the toilet because I use a brush, and don't have to touch chemicals, but as far as the tub goes, it's usually cleaned by a family member or a friend who cant stand to see it dirty anymore! lol I know I'm a GROWN ASS MAN, I need to suck it up, but there is a new line of chemical free chemicals, that I am gonna buy! That will show you tub!

Another fear I have is over expired/spoiled food. My stomach is fucked up enough, I check expiration dates on EVERYTHING I eat. If its that day, I don't eat it. Also I don't eat any prepared foods that have been in the fridge for more than 3 days! If it's been longer than that I PITCH IT, no food borne illness is getting in here!

Now here are a few hatreds, I'm not at all scared of these event's. I just hate fucking doing them.
1. Getting a haircut. HATE IT! Hate that I have to go out, pay someone $15 + tip, and then they always try to strike up conversations! I hate those forced conversations! Always ask me about my day, and the weather, and how I'm doing. sometimes I just like to be a dick and say something awkward like, "well I just got divorced" and they look like deer in the headlights. I know, I'm a dick!

2. Taking back bottles. REALLY HATE THIS ONE! Sometimes I wish we lived in a non bottle return state so I could just pitch those fuckers! I mean I can now, but living in MI you are programmed to put the cans/bottles in the bottle bin. Its automatic! I always wait WAY to long to take the bottles back! then I have like $25 worth, and it's a huge pain in the ass to get them all loaded in the ride, they all leak everywhere making my hands sticky! Then I always miss that one bottle in the bottom, after all the bottles are done and I've moved onto cans, so I have a slip for 10 cents. I mean getting the money is nice, but not for the hassle!

3. Getting gas. This one I have to do the most often obviously! I drive with my gaslight on for like 3 fucking days before I finally break down and get gas. I HATE the smell of gas! HATE IT! It makes me nauseous. I HATE paying for it though the most! It's not too bad now, but when it was $4 + gallon, man that hurt my wallet! Some stations are worse than others. I always pay at the pump, so stations ask you for a car wash, and what the zip code for the card and shit is, I try to avoid those pumps, (usually Shell, heads up). The Harley is worse though, because you need to pay a lot of attention on that 5 gallon tank, or your gas will spill EVERYWHERE! Then they never have any paper towels in those fucking cans by the pumps! I HATE THAT!

When I got out of the structure today there was a homeless drunk guy passed the fuck out in the lobby. He's a bigger guy and has a Crazy beard, kind of like Gimli from Lord of the Rings and he absolutely smells like shit! The whole Lobby wreaked! I feel bad for the guy. he also rocks back and forth like the fucking girl from Bless the Child, religious movies ALWAYS freak me out. I'm sure being homeless wasn't his choice, but damn, he was funktastic.

The reason I'm at work so damn early today is that I Did Obits this morning. We have to set them up and print them out and get them ready for the days paper. it can be pretty hectic, but usually it's not bad! Today is one of the not at all bad days. especially because of one the paginators helps us out by printing the stuff out and getting us set up!

As I went to put my food upstairs today, i headed to the fridge to put my diet coke w/ lime and Sandwich in, and I saw this!

Yes! That IS what you think it is (sorry for the shitty camera phone pic PS) Cheetos in the fucking fridge! How did that happen? Why did that happen? Does someone at my work have a craving for cold Cheetos? I'm amazed!

So the diet is going good, I went over points yesterday because Pints of Oberon are 5 pts each (WTF?) But that's why I have 35 bonus points every week! My lunch today is only 5 pts, so that means tonight I can splurge! See the thing I miss most while dieting is Qdoba burritos!

They are a whopping 17 pts per delicious burrito! I get 32 pts a day though, so today I'll have some extra points to spend on one of these tasty delights! OK OK! I rambled on enough, lots of stuff talked about today, let the comments begin!


Becky said...

I have a high school theater group who wouldn't mind your bottle return cash. I'm just sayin'...

kelly lynne dot com said...

haha, i like your post bobby :) I too am anti-chemicals and am always scared of old food. I love that picture of the cheetos in the fridge, haha! so funny. I thought it was a piece of pizza just sitting on a shelf though when I first saw it, which would have also been, super funny.

Bobby G said...

Kelly, A piece of pizza would have been more hilarious I think! but less random!

Becky, thats not a bad idea...

Amanda said...

My dog is named Gimli!

Lee said...

Want to know what you clean with?
Get a magic eraser, and a bottle of vinegar mixed with water.
It kills germs, cleans, and has no chemicals!

Clouse House said...

Ok Bobby G...I follow your blog and I just shared it with Pat. He laughed so hard at so many posts, new & old. He loved the fact that every other word was a swear word and that he could relate to the stuff you put up. Keep it up!
You have a new follower even though he is "an old blogger" under my blog, the one I am the only one who posts on!
On a lighter note, we are headed up to sidetrack this Sat for my friends Bday, it's her 30th, you should come up! Hey it wasn't that long ago since we celebrated your 30th there! haha the pics I have from that night!

Sarah said...

That Qdoba pic does not do that burrito justice! THEY ARE HUGE! I get the soft tacos because I can't even fit the burrito in my mouth. Also, you can bring your cans and bottles to my house, just set them on the porch, I have NO ISSUE taking them back. I'll trade you that hate for my hate/ fear of vomit?! Deal?

Phil K. said...

There's a very easy solution to the getting your hair cut problem. I get mine done no more than 3-4 times a year...