Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Insomnia...Tiger Woods

I can't sleep worth a shit. It's pissing me off! I toss and turn all night, mind races about all things and nothing at the same time! The worst thing is that it's been giving me migraines left and right! In the 2 previous years ive had 3 migraines, in the 1.5 months since Lori passed, i've had 4! Hmmmmmm, something is a mess! Its frustrating as all hell, and its affecting me at work, which isn't good. Im fucking terrified of sleeping pills though. They react w/ some many other drugs, and they can be habit forming and dangerous. I also am hating no sleep though. Maybe Ill try some of that Herbal shit. My roomie has Melatonin, I should give that a shot. Its natural, and occurs in the body. it just seems weird to me taking anything to sleep. I hope this isn't a pattern, I hope its just part of the grief. 

Tigers Woods. WTF? You have an amazing Swedish Model wife. Who has a twin, and you are banging porn stars and cocktail waitresses. FAIL. Dude, Tiger, lets chat sir. You allegedly OD on Vicotin and Ambien, Crash your ride, and in a jealous rage, your wife busts the back window of your ride. Now sir. You are fucked. Forever. You will never be looked at the same way again. You were an ICON! A golf superstar, and perhaps the most recognizable athlete in all of sports. You have turned yourself into a joke. NO ONE likes a cheater. But 10 fuckin whores? DUDE! I feel so sorry for you. You seemingly had it ALL! A beautiful wife, 2 gorgeous kids, and amazing career, a shit ton of money, why do you need to bang a 23 yr old cocktail waitress? What the fuck will that get you? Oh, I know. I DEEP SHIT! I hope it was worth it sir. Because the most squeaky clean athlete reputation you had is DONE! You are a cheater. A piss poor peace of shit cheater. I hope you like your new legacy, and I hope you enjoy losing sponsors, and money. your gigantic galleries may be gone, you may be booed instead of cheered, your game will be affected. You are no longer the greatest athlete of a generation, you are the greatest asshole. Enjoy your new title. 



6 comments:

Clouse House said...

Make an appt to go see a neurologist. I suffered from migraines for years, finally the only thing that worked was botox! I would go in every 3 months and I swear by it!

Lee said...

I think Tiger Woods has a clinical sex addiction.
One mistress is a fuck-up. Ten is REALLY a mental problem.

Deonna said...

Michelle swears by Melatonin. She gave me some back when I was having horrible insomnia a couple months ago ... want me to bring you a few?

Personally, I'm a fan of Advil PM or half a bottle of wine.

Sweet-Britches said...

What's the difference bw Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after THREE Ho's....

Hehe.

Toni said...

I feel your pain when it comes to insomnia - in the past 3 weeks I've only had one full night of sleep :(

And I couldn't agree with you more about Tiger. The latest rumour is that they are thinking of high-tailing it back to Sweden to get away from the public eye though doesn't Sweden have the best looking women in the world? Not sure that's a wise decision lol

GIANTS FAN said...

This is a great site you have here. It's pretty funny. I have a humor blog as well and I'd like to exchange links with you. This will spread some traffic around between us. Let me know if this is cool.

Jason
http://www.hilariousheadlines.com/talk