I be Illin!

GREAT! I get back from my lunch break at work yesterday and my stomach is feeling kinda awkward. I didn't actually eat at my lunch break so it wasn't a food situation. Its also not unusual for my stomach to feel kinda awkward, i start to feel the rumbling and hit the bathroom, not pleasant, at all! So I went 6 more times at work before I LEFT. OK I have an issue! My buddy Phil was getting over the stomach flu and I went over to his house to watch the Redwings lose the other night. I'm guessing I got the germ then. I get home and feel MISERABLE! PISSING OUT OF MY ASS! Brutal! Every 30 mins or so I'm in the bathroom, it fucking SUCKED! Then The puking started! I had 2 sessions of vomit, both about 10-15 mins, it wasn't long until my stomach was empty. CUE THE DRY HEAVES! Again GREAT! I went to bed about 10, woke up at 11 and had to go again, after hat tho I woke up several times at night drank water & Gatorade, tried to keep hydrated, to no real avail, but since the liquid is now staying in, I'm all good! The best [art of the day is that my amazing girlfriend came over to take care of my ass! Lots of hugs and snuggling and a nap! It meant the world to me! Shes DOPE! Risked illness to make sure I'm was happy! I'm still smiling! Feeling better, fever of 101 is breaking, I ate some Chicken soup and that's been down OK. Hopefully I'm back to normal SOON! IM already done with this! Im pissed too because I was supposed to hit a happy hour with work peeps today, but I cant, couldn't host my weekly karaoke show, that sucked, and tomm is in jeopardy as well, got a Harley Group function, hotel at Webers! I best be better, if not this weekend is gonna blow!

Mountain Dew ....The Tacobell Rap

When I was working at Tacobell in the mid to late 90s i made a rap to the tune of Gin & Juice about working there. I made an MP3 of the song, anyone who comments on my blog (Not on Facebook) and gives me their email i will send a copy to. Here it goes! TBC is Tacobell Corporation

With so much drama in the TBC
Its kinda hard bein B O Double B Y G
But um. Somehow someway
people order up funk ass shit like every single day
like May I get a bean burrito no Cheese and
a nachobell Grand in the
Drive Thru 2 in the morning
and my car is still bumpin but I need to get home
We got bitches in the dining room, they are eatin
and they wont be leavin till 11 in the evenin
So what ya wanna do shit
I got a pocket full of hotsauce & my homeboys do to.
So turn off the lights & lock the doors
but for what? cause its time to close
But an ounce of beans on this
Gs up Hoes Down while you motherfuckers eat to this

Chorus:
Rollin down the street eatin tacos
Sippin on MOUNTAIN DEW Laid back
With the mind on my tacos & the tacos on my mind
Rollin down the street eatin tacos
Sippin on MOUNTAIN DEW Laid back
With the mind on my tacos & the tacos on my mind

Now that I got me some mountain dew
Everybody got they cups & they want some too
Cause this type of shit happens all the time
Ya got to eat yours but fool I gotta eat mine
everything is FINE when you're working in the TBC
I make the cultivating tacos who be captivating he
Who eats them, so listen when I speak
and everybody know you get free refills on the drinks
I remember 1 time there was this lady (Lady)
Who came up to the counter complaining(oh that bitch)
80 degrees when i tell that bitch please
if you want some extra cheese, you know that shit ain't free
AT EASE, as I open up the WINDOW feel the breeze biaatch im just

Chorus

Later on that day
a family came in w/ an order that was REALLY damn Grande
with a fat ass bag, of food I swear it was no joke
But they want more, I had to back up off of it and set the bag down
Extra hot & mild yeah they all set now,
Aint no stoppin ran out of boxes
Had to call the store in the city of Ypsi
to serve me, when im through with all of that stuff
I go back to the store and finish my shift up
Dont get upset girl thats just how it goes
I dont love them hoes I love NACHOS and ill be

Chorus

Chorus

BIATCH

Chorus

Biatch

With my mind on those tacos and the tacos on my mind

Winter, I grow tired of You!

OK, so this is amongst the most awful winters I can remember. When you take the snow, the cold and the fact its not yet February, it makes for some AWFULNESS I cant even describe. Could this winter be more cold? (Minnesota ladies, you guys have my ultimate pity!)I mean there was a day I woke up and it was -15 with a -34 Windchill! Really? -15? When was the last time MI got that damn cold? Did I wake up and find myself in International Falls MN or what? Not to mention me and my new GF want to do all this fun stuff, but we cant because its too damn cold/snowy, shes is outdoorsy and wants to go for Harley rides, take her dog to the dog park, go for walks, bicycle rides etc. Another terrible thing is I have Cabin Fever like a MUG! I can't stand to be inside (Maybe its cause I'm forced to live w/ my parents) But also I don't want to go out, and freeze my ass off!

Another FUCKED UP THING is how badly people drive in snow! My favorite "Snow Driver" is the 4X4 SUV who thinks he can go 25 MPH faster than everyone else, Inevitably he/she ends up in the ditch, and fucks up traffic for 9 hrs! Nice work DOUCHE BAG! It took me 28 mins to get to work today, it usually takes 10, its a 4 mile commute! I'm like WTF? I left early and everything and was still 10 mins late, I don't get it, its snowed like a billion inches so far this year and people STILL CANT DRIVE IN THE SNOW! You think after the 90th snowfall this winter people would have a fucking plan of attack, but alas, I'm still behind black Ford Taurus going 14MPH in a 45. I can't pass him because everyone else is passing me! Seriously, just take the bus man...it would solve all the earth's problems! Now its time to think warm thoughts and PRAY that fucking ground hog doesn't see his shadow!

Step right up & see the freak, BOBBY G!

OK today I'm a mess! I thought I had to work at 8:30, but I had to work at 8. I actually overslept my 8:30 work time by 25 minutes. So I was NICE and late for the 8am work day! Also in my rush i didn't put a belt on, so that means I am a DOUCHE BAG w/ no belt and tucked in dress clothes, NICE BG REAL NICE. Also i have 2 OBVIOUSLY different shoes on! Its not even close! SEE:



Why so different you ask? well because the Pumas with the fat laces (Cause it was either that or K Swiss) Are because my right foot hurts so damn bad and they are my loosest shoes (Still not all that loose though) I'm still pimp stepping around, so with the combination of 2 different shoes, no belt, and my limp, I look VERY SPECIAL today.

ER Monday Stitches Bitches!

So I'm at my GFs house and she has a light out, and its an annoying one because its in the "lobby" area of the house where the shoes & coats live. So I decide I'm gonna change it. I get a chair, get a screw driver and decide to change it up! Get on the chair, take the screwdriver and take out the 1st screw. Well the whole damn globe falls and hits the top of the chair and it fucking shatters! One of the lovely pieces of glass decides it would LOVE to pierce my socks and cut the SHIT out of my foot! Well this was last night, at around 7, it hurt like a BITCH!It was worse when I had to put my shoes on for outside adventures. I didn't sleep well due tot he crazy pain, so this morning I decide to roll to the ER. I get there at about 7 or so. Roll over to Triage and they said to wait in the waiting room. So I sit there, foot throbbing for about an hr (PS all time shortest ER wait ever until i got to see someone) So i get in the back and they have NO room for me instead they have this.



In the middle of the ER, they have a SUPER comfy chair, they tell me to recline (Like I wouldn't of anyways) and they have me take off my sock. They send me to xray, to check for broken glass in the wound, and JUST to make sure my toe wasn't broken. Everything came back great. The Dr. Novocains my foot up and that hurt like a BITCH for a second, then i feel NOTHING! Here is a pic post numb



So the Doc comes back, cleans the shit out of the wound and gets to stitching. It was 3 stitches, and it wasn't a big deal. Now it hurts like SHIT! The Novocaine wore off, the other bitch of it is, i can barely walk due to the location of the wound,Here is a pic of the finished product, gruesome huh?


30 yrs old & its the first time ive ever had stitches! Prob wont be the last!

A, E, I, O, U & Sometimes Bi....

So back in 1st grade, every Friday We'd do Letter People. The Vowels were ladies, and the Consonants were men. We'd listen to each letters song, then wed get a snack, w/ the letter we were studying, it was ALL very fun. It was also a great way to learn the letters, but only because food was there! BG loves food! So I was thinking, since there are male & female letters, what would happen to Y. I think Y, in 2009, would be the Bi-Sexual letter. It dips in both male letters & female letters! Used as a vowel & a consonant. Y is kind of an attention whore anyways! Its always like "LOOK AT ME! I'm the I sound in Xylophone! Love me and embrace me!!!!!" Y you are truly the "Queen" of the letters!

Don't Buy a House Version 2.0

Late last year I broke down why you shouldn't buy a house based upon the NIGHTMARE Ive had to deal with during the divorce w/ mine! well we decided to do a short sale, which basically means they will sell our house for whatever the fuck they can get, and we will be forgiven of the debt w/ a minor credit hit, good situation. Well today I get an email w/ a HUGE stack of paperwork I need to fill out and me & Bridge need to sign, oh and the KICKER is if we don't do it TODAY they aren't gonna approve our short sale! WTF? Well me and Bridge need to coordinate, and I don't have any idea of her new schedule or anything, this is a nightmare, I'm SO DONE! SO DONE! Fuck this!

Harley & BG Reunited!

So my cat Harley ha stayed w/ the ex wife because my mom has a crazy bitch cat who hates the earth! Well after some convincing my mom has decided to let Harley in the house, neither cat has front claws so they cant do that much damage to each other! Ive been missing Harley (AKA Kiddao, pronounced Kiddo) he was my little buddy, so on Fri I got a hold of the ex and asked her if I could take Harley off her hands, she was happy to oblige because she just re-started school, and cant give him all the attention that he needs (OK, Wants),Im super excited! here is some pics of Kiddao!

Sleepwalking Through The Day!

OK so on Thursdays I host karaoke at Wings Pizza N Things in Saline. Well I slept like ASS Wed night, and worked all day! Closed the bar down and went to bed at 2:30, up at 7, then i gotta work till prob 10 tonight (2 Jobs) I got NOTHING in the tank! Im CASHED OUT! Plus my fucking hat i had to wear so my ears wouldnt freeze off gave me some sort of awkward Faux Hawk situation that I cannot remedy. I look like a DOUCHEBAG!

Naked Dream....Damn Cold!

So last night I had a dream I was butt ass naked! (I Know the phrase is BUCK naked, but I don't really care) I was ass naked in public. I went to the movies naked, went to the bar naked drank a few pints & ate some quesadillas! I problem solved butt naked, all in all it was very weird! At the movies I was like COOL, it'll be dark, ill walk in naked & no one would know, WRONG PACKED HOUSE, lights ON! I was very uncomfortable! lol

Also its fucking COLD today! Don't go out unless you need to! I got all bundled up, even ski mask, gloves everything! You know what happened? My eyes got so cold I got a headache! I felt like they fucking froze! Unbelievable! Maybe I shouldn't of written that note to Mother Nature lol

Lunch Time Stealers!

Ive been at my job for 7 years. 3 years in my current dept. When I first started in my dept, I always took my lunch at 2 pm. Id actually eat lunch on a 15 min break at 11, and then at 2 Id take my "LUNCH BREAK". Well its a GREAT TIME to take your lunch, at least it used to be. See everyone takes their lunch at 12 or 1. So the lunchroom is packed to the gills, microwaves are taken up, and the seating is spotty at best. There are 2 booths one of which I like to use because I spread out the paper, and use the space! At 12, no chance you get one of those, at 2 it was all good! No microwave lines, plenty of seating, shit half the time you'd be the only one there! But there has been a CRAZY movement at my work. More & more folks are switching to the 2pm lunch! I now don't always get a booth, have to wait for a microwave and share the space w/ many people! I understand why the 2pm lunch is great, you get back & you only have 2 hrs left! that's NICE! No lines at restaurants etc, but it sucks for good ol BG. I realize I'm being childish lol, I realize I'm being selfish, but a peaceful lunch is all I want in the day! that's NOT too much to ask!

American Idol Live Blog...

Ill be live blogging the American Idol premiere! Get Hyped!

8:04- Young girls bummed out that David Archuletta Lost! So Funny, they seriously acted like it was the end of earth!

8:05- Even AI had a montage

8:06- "Welcome to season 8, Arizona"

8:11- 106 Degrees, and these dumb fucks are outside waiting for a chance!

8:12- Judges Arrive in Limos- The New Judge Kara is fucking hot! She according to Simon has "hits and an opinion"

8:14- yeah Jew Fro Asian! hes dancing like MJ, its not working out! And "Don't stop till you get enough montage" He also has a Bobby G esque Gay walk...Oh man, PS in case you don't know, HE SUCKS! OH HE HAS Yellow TEETH! OH SNAPS

8:17-Yeah careless Whisper Sad Asian Jew Fro Montage!

8:18-Emily Hughes, pink hair, tatted up, HOT, mom was a singer could be good, SHES IS, good singer! Shes totally dissin her band in hope of "Daughtry " fame..PS playing ALONE by Heart one of my All time Jams!

8:20-Commercial Again, REALLY WTF! Last year we DVRd the Episodes, and there was only actually an hour of show, and an hr of commercials BULLSHIT!

8:26- Back! Oh man, Fake rocker douchebag! Randy is a tool! This is gonna change his life "tremensely" Singing Living on a Prayer, tough song, Simon called it "Wimpy" not terrible just not good. WOW, hes crying! Deep Discussion! What a sniveling BITCH

8:32- GOOD SINGER singing some gay ass shit! lol JB I believe? He makes it! Lots of criers today, he wants to help the family, that's noble.

8:34 Michael Gurr- SCARED already, that's not good! lol WORST IVE SEEN SO FAR! TERRIBLE! JESUS! Randy is laughing! Now hes gonna sing a Kara the judge song. he may Vomit....

8:36- ANOTHER COMMERCIAL JESUS

8:41- Will Kunick! KILLING A tears for Fears Song!, Oh man its a MONTAGE of awful, Celine Dion all coming back to me now, DESTROYED. Dionne Warwick I know Ill never Love this Way again, DESTROYED, man this is TERRIBLE!

8:42- XRAY is this dudes name! Randy is giggling, Born and raised in Phoenix, hes an "entertainer", I BET hes AWFUL! I'm right, hes also dancing bad, hes a double threat! lol Phoenix SUCK! lol Oh man "Swing-a-dell-adoo" Andre XRAY isn't getting it, hes fighting in, Oh here come the bouncers lol.

8:45- Ariana, shes 16, CUTE and she adopts grandparents, she'll be good, thats how they do it on AI! lol LOL Simon w/ an elderly Paula joke! LMAO. SHES GOOD!

8:47-End of day 1- Only 9 people got tickets to Hollywood on day 1.

8:48- COMMERCIAL, this is NUTS!

8:54- Day 2 Starts, Montage of past awfulness

8:55- DEEP ASS VOICE. Hes a cashier, lol. TERRIBLE! SO BAD!

8:57- Lea Marie, 16 yrs old from CT, ANNOYING AS FUCK! A cross between "hillary Duff & Madonna" according to her, and she loves Kara. she has written 100 songs, Shes AWFUL! TERRIBLE! No one is saying yes!

9:00- Stevie Wright, cute, got her name from Stevie Nicks, Singing At Last, tough song, shes doing well, Belting it out! WOW ONLY 16. SHES GOOD,

9:05-COMMERCIAL AGAIN! IM like WTF...

9:10- Michael Sarver, works on oil rigs, the 5th most dangerous job in the world! He can sing! Boy II men, Thank you, the JAM! Kara called him a sweet roughneck lol, OUCH 4 yeses tho...NICE WINK SIMON

9:12- Here comes a bunch of AWFUL!

9:13- Bikini Girl- Super Cute, but I bet money she cant sing..Simon's eyes got big! Randy is speechless, WOW, she can sing, Kara is being a big bitch, shes jealous! OH SHIT ITS ON! CAT FIGHT! She kissed Ryan NICE!

9:18-COMMERCIAL!

9:22- Kara is FLY...

9:23- Sexual chocolate in the house..his shirt has a tattoo on it! lol Singing Stevie Wonder, SO TOUGH, but he wasn't awful!

9:26- Oh, crying montage!

9:27- Brianna Quijada- She keeps saying its not happening. For me its not happening, no emotion...No good, shes trying to no avail...WOW SHE MADE IT! WTF?

9:28- she has NO SHOT in Hollywood!

9:30- COMMERCIAL

9:34-Deanna Brown- Mooching Families? LOL Soulful voice, shes good! Sexy voice....she made it!

9:37- Cody 17, from the D! nice! represent man! Makes horror films, weird...judges are scared, HE CAN SING! Nice way to represent MI ! He has a crying entourage, and he makes it!

9:40- COMMERCIAL

9:44- Simon is making fun of all the people! Asking them what 3 countries would they be popular in, they have NO CLUE!

9:45- Alex, dry sense if humor on this kid! WOW! HES GOOD! didn't expect that! He looked like douche! Cracking jokes, nice, Randy likes him, SIMON HATES HIM! 3 Yeses, hes in!

9:47- Wanted Dead or Alive Montage, Terrible singers, Deep voice Guy is BACK! lol Jew Fro Asian is back! NICE!

9:48- COMMERCIAL JESUS

9:54- Scott Mcintyre- Born blind, music has compensated for his blindness, hes a classical pianist, tons of practice, good job man! I hope hes good! because what a great story. Singing Billy Joel!! HES GOOD! YAY! All say yes!

9:57- Total 27 tickets given! Phoenix not a bad haul! Tomorrow KC! I will NOT be Doing a live blog tomm, I have to work...plus its a lot of work..Peace out yall!

An Open Letter to Mother Nature...

Dear Mother Nature..

Listen, I know you have the power to be a colossal bitch whenever you want. But why must you wield your fury in such dramatic fashion? For instance randomly in December we had a glorious, albeit slightly rainy day in the 60's, the NEXT day it was in the 20's. Why must you make a dramatic 40 degree change in one day? Our bodies have a tough time w/ that, which is why EVERYONE on earth has a fucking cold right now! PS if you are gonna drop a shit ton of snow, do it in 1 day then give us a few weeks off to recover! But 7 inches today, 5 inches tomorrow, 3 inches on Fri, that shit HAS TO STOP! And don't say you're doing it for the children either so they don't have to go to school! While that is a Noble gesture, you fail to see the fact that if they miss too many days they have to go longer! Have a heart Mother nature! No one wants to go to school longer! Also, why do you HAVE to give us tons of wind? Cold is shitty enough, but adding 30 MPH gusts of wind is just fucking mean! Now mother nature, I know you are a fair woman, I don't know if this is some kind of menopausal anger or what, but you HAVE TO STOP! Please don't just do it for me! Do it for all the cold angry people out there that can't wait for April! Do it for the MI roads, that are gonna be SO TORE UP due to all the salt and sand. But most of all do it for the Children, so they can get out of school in EARLY JUNE instead of Mid June! You are after all a MOTHER. Isn't nurturing kind of your thing?

Cordially
Bobby G

PS. We better not have that flood discussion in Early Spring, Don't make me put the smack down on you again!

Credit...Grrrrrrrr

So I go to get a bad ass Digital SLR camera online last night, been wanting one forever, and my work has a kick ass benefit that they give $2500 every two years for technology, computers, electronics etc. The loan is interest free and its taken out of your check weekly for two years. Well I go online to Amazon, set all the shit up, and pay w/ a credit card. I send it through, get my order confirm, good to go right? WRONG! I get an email a few mins later and it says my CC has been declined. I'm like OK, let me call them. Well apparently I missed I payment, I never got the bill, etc. They say OK, but until they get a payment I cant use said card. OK, so I'm talking to my mom about how the ESPN visa card got declined cause I missed a payment. she said "Which card" I said ESPN, she said uh oh, I threw that bill away. I said "WHAT" yeah apparently the bill says ESPN in the corner even though its a WAMU card. She thought it was one of the seemingly endless streams of ESPN the magazine renewals. She's paying the bill late fee and all, and its cool. But I was like WTF!?

Heely Catastrophe!

Heely's. Those STUPID shoes w/ the wheels in them, what a retarded idea. Like kids needed another way to fucking kill themselves. Scooters, skateboards, Rollerblades, and bicycles weren't enough? Well I saw a GREAT wipe out a little while back. I never wrote about it cause I felt bad, due to the fact it was a little kid and all. But some little fucker ran into me on those today, so the other kids story gets told. Today I was in pot Belly in downtown A2. That store is not big! there isn't a lot of room for someone to say be gliding on little wheels in their shoes. The little fucker hits me before I get my food, while I was waiting for a friend. No harm no foul, but I was still kinda pissed. The the same little fucker hit someone else! Lesson not learned! The dude almost dropped his food and everything! So now I'm gonna tell you a great Heely wipe out story! I was at Wide World Sports watching a buddy play indoor soccer. Wide world has a LONG tile floor! Perfect for little kids to glide around. Well this kid is traveling at a high rate of speed, the front of his shoe hits (Toe Pick!) and his whole body flies in the air! He lands on hi left shoulder and slides about 15 ft! He jumps up before anyone except me knew what happened! I fucking lost it! I kept replaying the memories in my mind. It was the funniest shit id ever seen since he didn't get hurt. If he did get hurt, he'd of deserved it though! Here is a great wipe out I found online!


It looks brutal, but this kid is tough!

Babies, ages & Child disciplne as seen by BG!

Ok MOMS! Listen up! After a baby turns 1 there is NO LONGER any need to say their age in months. How old is your baby? he's 1! Period. If you say, for instance 21 months, that means I have to do math. I don't want to do math! An Acceptable answer would be 1, or Almost 2! When I have kids (if I ever do) then I will not succumb to the months of baby age. They do it all the way up until 2! I'm like 23 months? OK he's fucking 2! MOMS always do this, but now men are too! Yesterday I saw a SUPER sad site I saw a MAN with the GAYEST diaper bag I've ever seen! it was pink & every other color on earth! It was also PLEATHER! This dude was carrying it LIKE a purse because he had to attend to his munchkins running around the store & such. Poor guy. Remember the good ol' days of getting your ass spanked in the store by your mom? Those days have gone away. Why? I chalk it up to my generation and their continued pussification. Now if you don't spank your kids, im not I'm smack to you, but I know that I got whoopins on the regular and I turned out fine. There is a BIG difference between spanking your kids & beating them. BIG DIFFERENCE! Another thing to blame is teachers. That's right, teachers. They give out Social services number in class. YEAH! id be mad as HELL at that teacher! They took away my upper hand, and Ill be damned if my 3rd grader calls social services on me for spanking him. The kids use it as a threat! Another thing too, is that the number 1 preferred method of discipline is time outs. Son go to your room and think about what you did with your PS3,XBOX, iPod, computer with internet, stereo, LCD TV, etc. That's not a punishment! Its a recreational hr! Now I know A LOT of moms read my blog. I'm in no way shape or form talking about your parenting styles! If you don't want to spank your kids, COOL! I'm not a dad, so honestly I don't have MUCH of a say, but when I am a dad my kids are getting whoopins...I know that's the case.

No Windshield Solvent!

So im driving to work in the ice & snow today, there were cars infront of me kicking up dirty water & chunks of salt, so I went to use my windshield washers & I get nothing. The juice Jets are foaming like rabid dogs, but its not reaching the windshield! Its getting BAD! Im lookin for little hole to look out of while I drive, but to no avail. I have to stop at a gas station and get some. I open my hood, and my LID from the solvent tank is GONE! But I need Solvent so i add it. I have visions of all my damn solvent being wasted on the ground. At least I can see now though, but I was 8 mins late to work.

Musings From the Parents House...

For those that don't know, I got divorced and moved out in September. Having nowhere free to go, I had to go live with the parents, as I am still paying a mortgage on my house. These are some observations from the parents house:

Mom & Dad were testy yesterday. Its not how they typically roll though. Usually they are cordial, but yesterday there was much snapping going on. Bitchin about this & that. The catalyst though? Mom wanted Dad to open these champagne bottles we've had in the fridge for like 2 fucking years and dump them out. He said he thinks "they are prob still good", mom comes back with "If you didn't want to do it you should've just said so" in a snappy voice. Dad says "Ill do it later", Mom says its too late now...I don't get it lol. They recently got their living room painted by my brother & his wife. So yesterday they were cleaning, dusting, and hanging pictures. My mom dusts w/ my Dad's old underwear. I shit you not. The NASTIEST shit I can imagine. When I got home, my mom asked if I wanted to dust, I said sure, then she handed me Dad's old fuckin drawls, and I had to pass! Also they never flush the toilet if they piss. NEVER! Everytime I piss, im lookin at 6 hr old piss, electric yellow awfulness. I ALWAYS flush after that. Don't need piss festering all fuckin day. Also my mom LOVES to mess up words. My favorite one is her word for Text Messaging. Shes says tex mex. "Hey Bobby, tex mex your brother to see what hes doing this weekend" Funny as hell, Ive adopted that word as the official word for text messaging! Me and the girl im seeing always say "Tex mex me later" Its good times! Another thing MOM loves to do, is read me headlines from the paper. I WORK AT THE PAPER! I READ IT AT WORK! EVERYDAY! Everytime I tell her this she says Oh yeah, hasn't she learned? Dad is the most patient person on earth. Dad & I will be talking, Mom will come in the room, ask dad a question, dad will stop the conversation, look at mom w/ said answer, and continue back to the conversation. Like clock work, it doesn't even phase him. I guess that's why they've been married 36 years...

Top 5 Hip-hop Acoustic Covers..

I LOVE HIP HOP! But I also love it when acoustic singers cover hip hop songs. Take 20 or so minutes, check this out. Here are my top 5

5. Boyz N Tha Hood- Dynamite Hack- A day in the life of EAZY E one of the originators of NWA and Gangsta Rap. Redone by a Texas alternative group. HIlarious.


4. Gin & JUice- The Ghords- GREAT Gin & Juice cover, Country as hell! its hilarious!


3. Straight Outta Compton-Nina Gordon- A SUPER slow, acoustic cover by a lady, one of the funniest things Ive ever heard.


2. Bitches Aint Shit- Ben Folds- #2 on th list wouldve been #1 except for a new one I found, Ben Folds TEARS THIS UP! Just great, PS sorry for the awful video


1. Baby Gt Back- Jonathan Coulton- Just listen, funniest thing IVE ever heard

10 All time WORST covers...

Here are my 10 all time worst covers of songs..

10. Pearl Jam- Last kiss, I HATE Pearl Jam. That has been documented A LOT in my blog! But I always liked the original version of this song. Now its kinda ruined...


9. Smash Mouth- Im a believer, Loved the Monkees song, HATE smash mouth, I felt like it was a cover of Im a Believer at the circus...


8. Brittany Spears- Satisfaction- The stones are the Stones, Brittany is just STONED, Terrible song...


7. Celine Dion & Anastasia, You shook me all night Long! Take tight pants, big glasses, and two fiery chicks, and you got a BAD cover of a GREAT AC/DC song.


6. Jessica Simpson- These Boots were made for walking- SUPER hot video a side, TERRIBLE SONG, the Movie was awful, she did a BAD Daisey Duke cover too!


5. Michael Bolton- Sittin on the Dock of the Bay- WOW! One of the greatest Soul Songs ever, as done by the worst soul singer ever..


4. John Mayer- Free Fallin, heard this song on the way to work today and HAD to add it! It kinda inspired me to write this blog today! You cant do this better than Tom Petty, so dont try!


3. Rascal Flatts- Life is a highway Like free fallin, you cant do better than Tommy Cochran, so dont try,


2. Sweet Child O Mine- Sheryl Crow, WOW you dont mess w/ GNR, and if you do, it better be MONEY, this is a slowed down, folksy AWFUL version, its the oppositie of ROCK


1. American Pie- Madonna, This is the ALL TIME worst to me. American Pie is a CLASSIC song, Madonna, got all dance music and destroyed it!


What are your Worst Covers?

Every New Years...

Every New years I'm hungover as fuck...NEVER FAILS. My typical new years plan of attack is drink beer until Midnight, and champagne after. Well this year was slightly skewed because I got off work at 11:15, SO I had to double fist beer & champagne. Not smart, in case you ever want to try this, Id suggest you don't however. So I wake up this morning in rough shape, Ive got stomach anger, killer headache, and I'm starving! The girl I'm dating is worse than me though because she has all that and she is sick w/ a brutal cold too, so I get my ass up & get breakfast. We eat it, then we nap, then I help her sister put together her fucking IKEA dresser, fucking nightmare, do Swedish people read? Because their directions are all PICTURES, if that isn't bad enough, if you take a wrong turn somewhere you end up w/a crazy Frankenstein looking situation, and then you have to go back to find out you nailed the back on the front and that's why the drawers wont go on (Nice work girl)I fixed that on her nightstand, and then we tackled the dresser, this thing was HUGE but with 2 of us we knocked it out! Then we had KFC, then I napped, then I took a shower, so basically every new years I am useless as hell, in 2005 I sat in a dark house watching football, getting all my meals delivered, Its a tough time when you are hungover celebrating the new year and you gotta go get your own food. I feel better now though. So ill be back, in 364 days, ready to do it all over again, lets hope next year I have less to me pissed about, and more to smile over. We ALL know however, that it wont matter, Ill still be as drunk! HELLO 2009!