F You 2009!

2009 was the worst year of my life. No doubt. 2008 also sucked, but due to the intense loss I have dealt with this year, it beats it out. The year started out great, with tons of hope and excitement. The anticipation of a great year w/ my new GF Lori was amazing! I was so excited w/ starting our life together! have a new GF rules! You find out all the little stuff about them that you love, and all the ways to make them smile. You also found out what they don't like and what you should never do again lol. Things went fairly smoothly until about July. I sold the house (THANK GOD) and got 2 new jobs to replace the Ann Arbor News closing. But after the house was gone I got all the bills the ex never paid, and that caused a rift in our relationship. We eventually broke up, but on GREAT TERMS! Our friendship was blossoming! it was actually amazing! It was so seamless. Everything was going great until October 25, when she took her own life. I was numb. I was a shell of myself. I didn't know what to do or how to handle it. I overreacted, and was very overbearing to the family and Lori friends. I certainly regret my actions, but I was not in a proper state of mind to be held accountable for my actions. My bday on November 1 was a bright spot. I was so sad and some friends MADE me get out of the house and out of my Pajamas lol, and I went out and had a great night on the town! When I got back however reality hit again. I started therapy in early November. Its been VERY helpful in getting through this tough time.  I feel like ME again! I feel like I am feeling SO much better, but at the same time the memories never go away and sometimes a bout of sad hits. Its going to be like that for a while I bet. The year hasn't been ALL bad however. This traumatic event has taught me so much about being strong. Its made me realize I can handle anything, and its helped me be a great support system for friends going through traumatic events as well, because now I have been there. I love my jobs, I've got a great apt that I love and of course so much support from all my friends and family. So...here's to a great 2010. We all deserve it! 

BGs Happy Land!!!

Just like Happy Gilmore, I'm going to take you to my happy place! I've been in an amazing mood the last few days! I can sleep again, and I have been, immensely lol. Thanks to the lovely & talented Optimistic Pessimist, here is what makes me happy! 

Beer, I just love beer, all kinds, but you can keep your nasty ass Corona and Heineken. 

My Harley, the ultimate stress reliever.  

Women, DUH 

Tacos, so damn delicious 

A cool breeze, ahhhhhh

Fountains 

Creeks

Rivers

Lakes (Notice a pattern) 

Waterfalls (but I wont go chasing them TLC)

Smiling children

A lovely ass (Im still a guy for god sakes) 

Old Motorcycles

Funny Movies 

Fruity Candy

Doritos

Long Walks

Motorcycle Rides

Bicycle Rides

Aubree's Bar's Feta Bread

Drunk Tacobell

Breakfast Foods!

Big Hugs

Sweet Kisses

Cuddling! 

And Just Like Happy Gilmore:

Happy Tuesday ALL!!!!!

Insomnia...Tiger Woods

I can't sleep worth a shit. It's pissing me off! I toss and turn all night, mind races about all things and nothing at the same time! The worst thing is that it's been giving me migraines left and right! In the 2 previous years ive had 3 migraines, in the 1.5 months since Lori passed, i've had 4! Hmmmmmm, something is a mess! Its frustrating as all hell, and its affecting me at work, which isn't good. Im fucking terrified of sleeping pills though. They react w/ some many other drugs, and they can be habit forming and dangerous. I also am hating no sleep though. Maybe Ill try some of that Herbal shit. My roomie has Melatonin, I should give that a shot. Its natural, and occurs in the body. it just seems weird to me taking anything to sleep. I hope this isn't a pattern, I hope its just part of the grief. 

Tigers Woods. WTF? You have an amazing Swedish Model wife. Who has a twin, and you are banging porn stars and cocktail waitresses. FAIL. Dude, Tiger, lets chat sir. You allegedly OD on Vicotin and Ambien, Crash your ride, and in a jealous rage, your wife busts the back window of your ride. Now sir. You are fucked. Forever. You will never be looked at the same way again. You were an ICON! A golf superstar, and perhaps the most recognizable athlete in all of sports. You have turned yourself into a joke. NO ONE likes a cheater. But 10 fuckin whores? DUDE! I feel so sorry for you. You seemingly had it ALL! A beautiful wife, 2 gorgeous kids, and amazing career, a shit ton of money, why do you need to bang a 23 yr old cocktail waitress? What the fuck will that get you? Oh, I know. I DEEP SHIT! I hope it was worth it sir. Because the most squeaky clean athlete reputation you had is DONE! You are a cheater. A piss poor peace of shit cheater. I hope you like your new legacy, and I hope you enjoy losing sponsors, and money. your gigantic galleries may be gone, you may be booed instead of cheered, your game will be affected. You are no longer the greatest athlete of a generation, you are the greatest asshole. Enjoy your new title. 

Ba-Humbug....

Its that time of year again! The time of year for snot nosed crying children, Piss poor parking arrangements, and general misery! The time of formerly homeless santas and midgets finding good seasonal work. Yup its XMAS! I've never liked Christmas as a holiday, but again Im a selfish fuck so I love getting presents! lol. Christmas has become so commercialized, and is starting so early! No shit Macy's had xmas stuff on display in September. SEPTEMBER! A local radio station had halloween music since NOVEMBER 1! WOW! Pretty soon, its gonna be August! lol. Xmas music cracks e up because there are like 20 songs by 1000 artists lol. I hate that I don't have anyone this Christmas. The Holidays BLOW when you are single! Plus the added bonus of sad isnt gonna make it better. My Sis in Law is like Xmas personified! SHE LOVES IT! Shes tryin to get me to love it too this year! Im open to it but its gonna be tough lol. I want to get into the spirit, but this yr maybe thrown by the wayside. hey there's always next year! HO HO HO!