Top 5 Best Hip Hop Albums 2012

2012 started really rough for Hip-Hop. I was worried if I would even 5 albums I liked enough to make a damn list. The fall and winter have been Very Strong though, so without further ado here's the BG Approved list of top 5 hip hop albums of 2012.

5. Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor 2.  Lupe really disappointed me with Lasers. It was so commercial and he had gotten away from what he did best. Sing socially conscious songs in a way that's entertaining as fuck! Well Lupe is back!  A very well Written and Produced album, Lupe comes so strong on "Battle Scars" which had one of the best hooks of 2012 thanks to Guy Sebastian doing what he does best. The Piano driven beat also makes the track very strong. "ITAL (Roses)" Has a strong Horn based beat and Lupe adds his signature flow to make it a stand-out. ":Unforgivable Youth's" Synthesised beat and vocal crescendos make it an unforgettable track. Way to bounce back and this writer backing your good graces Lupe. You're now all the way back on my radar.



4. Macklemore - The Heist. Macklemore wasn't on my radar before 2012. I had never heard of the Seattle product OR his producer and main homey Ryan Lewis. My buddy Jeff turned me on to him and at first I wasn't feeling his flow. His mix tapes were dope and he had skill but something bothered me. On the Heist. All that went away. One of the best produced albums of 2012 by far, tracks like "Gold" (feat. Eighty4 Fly) about, you guessed it, Gold, with a catchy hook and bad ass electronic beat, Ryan Lewis shows all of his talents on this album. On the whimsical "Thrift Shop" Macklemore describes his love of used clothes stores and your grandpas style. A humorous track, with a awesome, almost Beastie Boys flavored beat, its a standout for sure. "Wing$" is about his love for Nike shoes! And how they made him fly! "Ten Thousand Hours" is the opening track with a sweet synthesizer beat and a kind of history of how he got here. A solid album and I cant wait to see what else Macklemore has in store for us and his legions of fans. Peep the ESPN Interview with Him here.


3. Nas- Life is Good. I was excited as shit when on "Loco-Motive" Nas said, "This is for my Trapped in the 90s people" Cause that's me to a Tee. I really dislike most new hip hop but Nas, ever since I was old enough to enjoy hip hop was always one of my favorites. Nas starts it out strong with the Piano horns track "No Introduction." Beat comes in so solid. Great drums, that blend well with the Pianos and horns. "Back When" is a trip through the childhood of Nas in the 80s. Love back in the day type jams. "Daughters" shows Nas softer side over a Dirty beat with a R & B Sample. A great album that takes me back to those 90s Nas albums. Dude is getting old, but he invented a style that lots of rappers copied, where are they now?

2. Big Boi - Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors - Big Boi. Im impressed as shit. Ive always been a fan of Daddy Fat Saxxx  but he brought it so hard on this album. Outkast was always known for reinventing themselves every album, Big Boi did JUST THAT on this album. VLDR goes through so many different songs. Thom Pettie has a slow dirty beat w a Screwed up sample and a singing hook. Shoes for Running has a almost BOB Style. The upbeat beat and choral singing hook is so hype and one of the stand out tracks. Also a huge fan of Tremendous Damage, Great hook, one of my favorites of the year. Big Boi is one of the all time greats. He has come into 2012 and has solidified himself as one of best of not only his generation, but of all time.


1. Kendrick Lamar Good Kid M.A.A.D. City. I was behind the game on this album at first. Couldn't stand Kendrick's voice. Couldn't get into his flow. After about 3 listens that was gone. Every 10 or so years an album comes out that defines a decade. Hip Hop hasn't had an album of that caliber in a while and it was overdue. Compton rapper Kendrick Lamar answered the bell with an autobiographical, chronological re-enactment of his favorite summer. His girl Sherang, the robbery he did, and them damn dominoes he borrowed from his dad. So many Standout tracks but the track of the album, and of the year, for me, is "Money Trees." Kendrick comes so hard on the track and has coined the phrase of the fall "Ya Bish" On "Swimming Pools" (Drank) His first drunken experience. On "Compton" Kendrick enlists the talents of Dr. Dre, on a banging track that shows his love for his city. One of my other faves is a track called the recipe. Woman Weed and Weather is why peeps come to Cali! Dre shows up on this track too, still coming strong like the D-R-E does!

Thanks 2012 for coming back strong after June or so. It's been one of the best in a while for  me! BOBBY G OUT!

1st Game in 10 years! A RECAP!

I arrive at the arena early, after a wrong turn mind you, and get my skates and pants on. Im feelin really good! A tad bit nervous but extremely excited to get back in the net! I take a few laps on the practice rink, and skates seem to be on right! Im so stoked! Being 90 mins early for the drop in game, I get my stuff on early, skate around, and everything seems great! everything fits well (never wore all my gear at the same time, except for a pic in another thread, so I was happy about that. Had to wear my glasses under my mask because my contacts had expired 2 years ago lol, yeah I don't wear them much. So it took some adjustments to get them in there right!

After a little bit, a few guys arrive for drop in. They get their stuff on and ask i wanna warm up! I jump at the opportunity. Now let me preface the rest of this post by saying right now I made 3 key mistakes.

1. Way too much warm up time.

2. Needed a structured game...

3. I Vastly over estimated my own conditioning.

Why did all these suck? 1. I warmed up WAY too much!!!! by the time the game started I was already whipped. 2. The drop in game had no refs, no face offs, no whistles etc. Also my team had NO DEFENSE, which meant a TON of work on an already beat goalie. 3. Didnt run enough, didnt do any training in my pads, didnt have the wind needed for a fast paced game with a lot of shots.

But heres how it went anyways.

Now this was a DROP IN GAME! We didnt keep score, no refs, no face offs, no whistles, it was basically street hockey on sport court lol.

I get out on the court and realize that the team of guys I had were not as good as the other guys. Had 10 shots or so in the first 90 secs of play and was going up and down, up and down, and had no Defense to help me out! IT KICKED MY ASS!!!! Had several great saves though! Here are a few high lights!

1. A break away about 2 mins in! Forward fakes to my blocker side, goes glove and I slide the pad out and stoned him!

2. A pass from a one timer in the slot, forward rips one and I snag it with my glove and he says "Great save goalie"

3. One time in the slot again (there were WAY to many lol) stoned him with a well timed pad stack and covered it up (wish there was a whistle)

4. Blocker save up close,

5. Kick save through a screen

6. New cup works good lol

I was very surprised with how I played early in the game, before I was to beat to stand! I didnt have to think about saves, I just reacted! I lost very little in my reaction time, which actually shocked me! Still had that good glove I used to have! Which made me happy! By the time I was about 45 mins into the game, I was DONE! I mean literally I was done! Had to leave the court lol I could barely stand due to fatigue! I was so cashed out That I spent time when the puck wasnt in my zone (Which was rare) on one knee, or leaned against the net. I never had any time to gain back my strength! Constant shots KILLED ME! Near the end is when I gave up most of my goals! 7 in all, but many were 2 on 0, unguarded one timers or breakaways. I was probably 4-6 on breakaways. WHich was cool! the ones that beat me BARELY trickled through. Overall It was a good game. Next time I wont kill my self in way ore game warm ups! And hopefully a little Defense lol. I am super excited though! I showed flashes of how I used to be! But im not 22 anymore! I need to condition! then Ill be a lot better with my wind and can hopefully go back to winning tons of games, and maybe actually make it through one lol

Top 5 Hip Hop albums of 2010

5. Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty

The first true solo album from one of ATLs finest. Outstanding production and the usual unforgettable flow & and an outstanding list of guests including Janelle Monae and TI just to name a couple, make this a no brainer for BGs top 5 of 2010. Big Boi's style stays true to his original Outkast style flow. Which for someone like me, who is unapologetically Old School, its the only way to go! Good Job Daddy Fat Sacks, now you and Andre 3000 need to get back together! Give something like yall used to!

4. Cee Lo Green - The Lady Killer

Some folks will probably question if this Album from another one of ATLs finest, even counts as hip hop anymore, well I say it for damn sure does. Cee Lo, from Goodie M.O.B. fame, as well as Gnarls Barkley, spend a lot of time singing in this old school R & B/Soul masterpiece! The lead single "Fuck You" is an all time jam! His velvety old school voice keeps the jams coming! Cee Lo has always, at least to me, been one of the more cerebral MCs of all time. He also happens to be blessed with a great voice and is as versatile as they come!

3. B.o.B. - The Adventures of Bobby Ray

This album caught me by surprise this year. The single "Airplanes" made us all want to throw the radio out the window it got played so damn much, but at one time it was an amazing song! What I love MOST about this album is how different it is! Songs like "The Kids" Featuring Janelle Monae (yet again) is like nothing I've never heard on a hip hop album. His flow, which is very similar to Andre 3000 is outstanding. Great lyrics and beats complete the trifecta. B.o.B. seems here to stay, and I for one and very excited about that!

2. Recovery - Eminem

Eminem is back! HE'S BACK!!! After 2 albums I could barely tolerate, which were after 2 classics, Eminem and I are finally cool again! Many people enjoyed Relapse, but like Em said his self he wasn't even feeling it! "Not Afraid" the top single from this album Em says "Lets be honest that last relapse CD was Ehhh, perhaps I ran them accents into the ground" Relapse not withstanding, Eminem comes back to his angry self. Outstanding production and the typical Em we all know and love comes back as good as ever on this album. Glad to have you back sir! We've missed you!

1. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Kanye West, the man is amazing. A total tool at times of course, but this album shows you his genius. This album is from front to back an all time favorite of mine. His usual amazing production and songs that, honestly, are like I've never heard before. There are several standouts but one of my Favs is "Monster" Nicki Minaj, in my eyes has the best verse of her life and really stands out. the whole album is a who's who of quest stars including, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross and so many more! This album is what hip hop should evolve into. Its not ring tone rap, its smart, deep, and extremely well done at every level. Thanks Kanye for an all time great album!

Thanks for checking this out folks! Hope you agree, but I also hope you don't!! lol

Bye bye 2010, Hello 2011

2010 was a pretty good year. Met an amazing girl and her equally amazing kids who I love like my own. Got a new car after 10 yrs of the Bobby G Ride, a change was necessary! The new Lexus is bad ass, comfortable, luxurious and has a bad ass stereo when I wanna rock the fuck out, and when don't I wanna rock the fuck out? lol

It wasnt all good however, Crashed the Harley in April, gained like 30 lbs lol and now im gettin ready for a drinking hiatus (yet again) lol

2011 has a lot of promise for me. I plan on being out of debt and gettin back down to 180, exercising, and becoming a whole new, yet equally awesome Bobby G.

The new year is always an exciting time for me. its like a clean slate. A Chance to right my wrong etc. I havent had TOO many wrongs, but at the same time I am human, we all make mistakes! Im ready for the new year!

What did you guys think of 2010?

Its Been FOREVER!!!

I've kind of gotten away from writing for some reason. Im sure no one follows me anymore because of the fact I haven't written anything in like 6 months, However, I though today was just as good of a day as any. Ill be 32 a week from Monday. This year has been a whirlwind of emotion, but the one thing I can say is that my GF means the world to me. I love her and her kids SO MUCH! Its been a great year over all. Stopped therapy in July. I am doing very well as far as the whole Lori situation goes. That'll be a year on Monday. I think I may finally go to the grave. I haven't been able to, but I think its time now. I'm at peace about what has gone on with Lori and I am now ale to let her RIP.

IN April, I crashed the Harley. On good Friday none the less, or as I call it now, Not at all good Friday lol. I was fine, but the bike totaled. I now owe over $3000 on a bike I dont own. Which is very annoying.

Got a new car a few weeks back. A 1998 Lexus ES 300. Im stylin now, its in great shape and is SUPER DOPE!! Lots of comfort and luxury lol.

OK Folks thats all for now. I hope everyone has been well, and I hope that people actually see this, if not, OH Well, my own fault lol Peace Yall

Its a lady!

I've taken yet another vacation from blogging, or maybe my vacation is actually blogging because I've been doing it so infrequently as of late, but at any rate, there is a good reason for it! I met someone, well I actually already knew her for a while but we were both involved with others. We kind of re connected via Facebook, and we've been hanging out lots as of late! I love it!!! She's hilarious!!!! She fun, she's beautiful, she's caring compassionate and in general great! She's 4 yrs older than me, and has 2 kids, 16 yr old who is AWESOME! and an adorable 4 yr old! I'm looking forward to a great 2010 and beyond with her!

I'm finally back to normal now regarding the Lori situation. I miss her lots, of course, but it seems most of the grief has stopped. Ever so often there are still moments, and there may be forever, but I'm happy to be moving along with my life. I feel that therapy has helped immensely! Just talking about it that 50 mins a week, is such a huge help for me. Its been a while since I've shed any tears, or anything, but its still so relieving to get it out every week!

Took 10 days off Apple, needed to regroup! I was BURNT OUT! Working 60 hrs a week and sometimes more since August had really taken its toll. The last 2 days have been great! It certainly seems that the vacation is exactly what the Doctor ordered!

OK folks, wanted to stop by and say hey! I hope to be back soon!!!!

Back in the Day!

I was just looking at my ever dwindling bank account, and it reminded me of the good ol' days. Im sure if you take a deep breath, close your eyes, and think hard about the past, you can come back here with me! 

How come they got rid of nap times in school? But 1st grade they were like NOPE, your ass best stay tired! I think there should be a mandatory 1 hr sleep period at work, right after lunch! That way you could throw down mass quantities of grub and then nap it off!  I mean lets face it, I'm basically sleeping at 2 everyday lol, just fightin to stay awake, if I was to take a 30 min or so nap, I'd be all good! lol 

I wish I could still travel around with a  big wheel! It'd be awesome! Everyone could customize their big wheels! Paint em up nice!, Custom hand brake and shit, plus when you need a new one, it's only like $60! 

I used to play street hockey from like 10am till dawn. Those were the days. How come if I walk 6 blocks now I'm fuckin dead? oh, I know...BEER. lol We would play all day, in sweltering fuckin heat and hardly need any water or anything. PLay all day, go home, chill, not sore, not tired, NOTHING. It's crazy how good of shape I used to be in. 

No work, only school. It was, in hindsight SO DAMN EASY! In school, we had RECESS! Which is happy play time! lol I could use recess at work! Just go outside, swing for 35 mins, then come back strong! lol 

No bills, no worries, summers off, all fun, no drama, no Bullshit, all happy! Those were the days! Yup, those were the days!

WTF Wednesday!

Welcome to WTF Wednesday! An exciting chronicle of things that piss me off!!!!! 

American Idol, WTF? I was all braced for a 2 hr super hype excitement of awesomeness, and what do I get? Chicago...I love the city of Chicago, but in like 20,000 people they got 13 people to Hollywood, 13...Chicago, YOU SUCK! 

Recipes, why do all of you need like a 1/2 oz of milk...I don't drink milk, I'm not gonna buy a carton of milk to make my cheesy pasta...you suck Knorr (formerly Lipton) WTF? 

When I moved in to my apt in August I bought a cheap set of silverware, granted I know it was a cheap set, but now its rusty as shit, I don't really enjoy tetanus w my meal...WTF???? 

In Country songs they always say we made love like it was the first time. The first time? The first time? So it was awkward, and finished quickly? WTF? lol

I hate how dry my apt is. It's seriously nuts. As soon as I step in I need to make a B-Line to the lotion or ill be an itching fool! WTF? A humidifier is in order for SURE!!!! 

Im so tired of traffic lately! Its been crazy, and for NO REAL REASON! It doesn't make sense! Its really slow, then we just start going, no obstruction, no stalled car in the median, no cop pulling someone over, NOTHING. WTF? 

Hate that song by Owl City,  Fireflies...Every time I hear it I wanna hit something, its like torture for your soul...WTF? 

Weekend Update....

So this weekend was kind of like a fantasy world! It was a world of celebration, happiness, sadness, excitement, and all other kinds of emotions! The Bennigans closing shindigs were AMAZING!!!! We sent Bennigans out like a champ! I felt like I was 22 again lol, but the reality hit when 3 days of partying took its toll yesterday! I didn't work till 5 but I was in ROUGH shape! 

Financially, the plan has been put into effect. I have 3 of the 4 steps started! I cooked on Saturday night, just spaghetti, but since I boiled water I count it lol. I did a mega grocery shop, including ingredients to make a few other meals! I'm excited about cooking stuff for myself, I'm a grown ass man, the time has come!!!! I'm still very intimidated though, see I can follow directions well, but some of that shit is so vague. WTF is a pinch? WTF does brown the mat mean? Is that not cooking it? stuff like that I need to figure out still, but I'm excited either way! 

Friday I opened a savings account and set up my direct deposit. I'm excited about having emergency money stashed away because I have no nest egg right now. If something happens, I'M SCREWED. 

Ive also started Netflix, which is exciting cause I love DEXTER! Season 3 is pretty good so far, but its no season 2! 

The $20/wk for going out hasn't happened yet, its because of the Bennigans closing. I had to go out, but don't worry! I no longer carry my debit card around, so I HAVE to use cash. Which is gonna help me w the spending. 

OK folks, happy Tuesday! Hope all my bloggy friends are doing well!!!!! LOVE YOU!!!! 

Damn I'm Gonna Miss Bennigans...

Ann Arbor Bennigans...Those very words invoke memories of people and events that will make me smile forever. On the surface it was just a shitty serving Job, in an old "Irish" decorated bar. Inside however, was one of the greatest groups of people I have, or ever will know. All my major life moments happened while I was at that store. First time getting drunk at a Jimmy Buffet Concert with Tiffy and Jenny. First time I got laid I worked there. We went on some of the best trips, like the time I went to Key West for bartenders weekend w/ Fritts and Tiffy! When we got tickets to see 3rd Eye Blind in a small club in Chicago FREE thanks to Becks Beer! Bennigans, the 8 yrs I worked there turned out such a quality crew! People I've met there were in my wedding, are some of my best friends that I will ever have. There are so many reasons I'll be sad to see that place go, first off I paid for maybe 1 of 4 beers. Free beer is always good, secondly the memories, oh the memories. God, the vast majority of the best years of my life were working at this job. Ill miss some friends who have moved out of state. Damn it, here come the tears. I was hoping I wouldn't cry. I feel like I'm losing a best friend, though in reality, the friends are still gonna be around! Many are changing restaurants, or moving on to other jobs in the area, but they will still be here! To the old school staff: I love so many of you folks! That place had the best eye of hiring great people. You guys helped make me who I am today! I used to be a shy kid, I know hard to believe, but the people at Bennigans embraced me into their crew and help me explode out of my shell! Ill never forget you people! To the current staff: I love you all! You folks have been some of my best friends Ive ever had! You folks have also, even though I haven't worked there in 2.5 yrs, made sure to get a hold of me for key Bennigans events. I came whenever I could, because you guys know how to fuckin party too!!!! I wanna call out a few specific people who have had a huge hand in my life. Tiffy, I love you girl! We had so many amazing times! I don't see you NEARLY enough anymore! Dave Fritts, I love you man, we also don't see each other as often as we should, but I miss you man! Gabe: You are always there for me when I need to bitch, you have let me know that shit isn't as bad as it seems and it can always be worse, so be thankful for what Ive got. Big shot out to my boy Josh Rice who is moving to Colorado, you've been there for me a lot man, we have discussed some seriously deep shit on FB chat, best of luck to you sir we will all miss you man, but now we got a legit reason to roll to Colorado, to come see you! Kristin Ellis, while we disconnected for a bit, we have reaffirmed our friendship. Thank you for being there for me on those nights where all my stuff gets to me, I love you and am so glad we have reconnected! There are so many notes I can write, everyone has touched me in some kind of way. The hearts on you people are truly the biggest Ive ever seen. God who knew back in 1999 when I filled out an application at a restaurant Id never ate at before, that it would literally change my life? I love all of you folks and best of luck to all of you in your new endeavors! You all deserve the best!

RIP Teddy Pendergrass

Teddy P passed today at age 59 after a long battle w Colon Cancer. Lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, he went solo and had some of the sexiest jams ever!!! RIP Teddy P, you are the smoothest pimp in the history of music! 

WTF Wednesday!!!!!

Three blogs in a row? WTF BG? lol 

So this morning I arise as I always do, and I go to the living room, get the mail, and I have bills as always. One in particular though caught my eye. a bill from Dr Norbert, a dentist, who pulled my wisdom teeth in MAY! I open it up, $550.27. FROM MAY! 8 months ago WTF? 

Lane Kiffen, head football coach at Tennessee is leaving after 14 months! Way to go asshole! way to leave the kids you recruited, the team you inherited and the school who gave your bitch ass a shot! WTF? 

Mark McGwire was on steroids? REALLY? Who didnt know this? The earth knew this, now he confessed and its news? WTF? 

Did anyone see American Idol last night? Victoria "Posh Spice" Adams looked like she was about 4 seconds away from death. She was so thin and tanned and bugged eyed. She looked like a fuckin alien, WTF? 

My brokeassness has reached critical levels, it's gonna be a rough ride, like I needed more drama WTF? 

I ordered  a Wallet from ebay like 3 weeks ago, I don't think I'm gonna get it, WTF? Time to dispute the charge...

OK Bloggy land have a great Wed!!!

RTT:, and other stuff!!!!

Its true, Ive been slacking like a mug. Between that, and the lack of commenting on other blogs, I understand where all my love went. Also the fact that many of my posts were kinda depressing doesn't help, people like the funny BG, I do too! He's back though, usually, ever so often sad hits, but I'm doing well! So now its time for the random Tuesday love that we have all came to love from my girl the Unmom. Enjoy!!! 

The Tacobell Drive through Diet? Are you shitting me? I don't care if that chick says she lost 54 lbs eating Tacobell. I call BS, there had to be other stuff at work here. She didnt walk, so it cant be like Jared, all she did was drive her car in Tacobell Drive Thru, and order items that are exactly the same except minus cheese. Anyone else see any way this could work? Yeah..me neither. 

Has anyone priced liquor lately? I went to get some for a friend and it seemed really expensive. I haven't bought liquor in like 4 yrs. Is it made w unicorn blood now? Cause thatd do it! lol 

Ive Been Immersed in music as of late! I have Great headphones and song I used to fuck up lyrics in are so much clearer I can now figure them out! One of my favs Prince, Seven, it goes, 

And we will see a plague and a river of blood

And every evil soul will surely die in spite of

But the way he says it, the inflection 

And we will see a plague and a river of blood

And every evil soul will be a Giant Spi-der, 

I swear lol

Anyone else totally addicted to Jersey Shore on MTV? I used to poo poo it, that is, until i started watching it! Its so trashy and awful you gotta watch!!! These tanned buff dudes, and trashy, (hot) chicks (especially JWoww lol)  I cant get enough of the fights and attempted hook ups! lol Its so great!!!! 

Facebook, GLORIOUS FACEBOOK, has a Jersey Shore name generator, I am B-Train, I love it, Ive embraced it, but its still no Bobby G though lol. My best nickname is built in! 

So Ive been on the prowl for ladies lately, dating is a strange world, Ive been in a relationship (well 2) for the last 6 years, and now I'm dating again! This is CRAZY! The world has changed! I still am able to talk to Ladies, but do you know how long its been since I've had to wear condoms? They are expensive too! $6 for a 3 pack! WTF? Oh well cheaper than a baby! Or doctors visits...

Got myself an iPod touch! 32GB w a case. I splurged on it for sure, but I use all day at work, to help customers and show em stuff, so I justified it that way (and I wonder why I'm broke lol) But all that is ending, Its on me all day like my phone when i get WIFI I take it out and utilize, its also my iPod too obviously so I jam to it all day long at my non apple job. Good times there!!! 

OK folks, i hope to see some of you back on my site, I plan on posting more regularly, because honestly, I miss it, and I have funny stuff to say again!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 

Back to Brokeassness!

Im broke, I cant lie, after Lori passed I stopped caring about money, and bills, and was very haphazard with my money. Bought shit I couldn't really afford, ate out too much, drank too much, and in turn gained weight. Ive gotten probably $600 in bank fees since October, and I didn't care, until now! I'm tired of it! I need to save money. And I have a plan. Its 4 magical steps! Here they are:

1. Grocery shop more! I can get 2 weeks of groceries for $60 or I can eat 10 meals out. The math is easy here! Im also going to try to cook food! Tacos are easy, spaghetti is easy, these things can be done cheaply, and without to much work.

2. $20 a week for going out. There are tons of ways to make this $20 stretch in a college town! Several bars have $1 beers or cheap specials, restaurants do too!

3. SAVING! $40 a check goes into my savings account! You never know when this life will throw you a curve ball! Id like to get about $1000 saved to have as a fund.

4. And finally, Netflix! Watching TV is a good way to stay focused! Especially when you are engrossed in a great show like Dexter! $15 a month will save me hundreds!!!

So there ya have it folks, its my 4 part plan, I hope this works, Im so sick of being broke!!!!

Holi-Daze!

What a whirl wind these holidays have been! An emotional mix of happiness, sadness, missing, loving, and over all excitement! They were easier than I expected w/ regards to Lori. Had a rough time Xmas eve and New years at midnight. Went outside, sat on the porch got a few tears out, and was good to go! I miss her so much, but I am doing SO GOOD in general. I have never dealt w a loss like this before. I never knew how much strength I had inside until now. The only real thing that I embrace about all of this, is the role I have taken w friends and family when they dealt with loss. I have become a great ear for many people! I enjoy helping folks whenever possible. The holidays are a tough time when you've encountered a loss. Its a typical happy time for most, but the emotions you feel after a loss are quite strange I must say. While everyone else is having a great time w/ the food and presents etc,  I was a bit numb. I recall how great the holidays were last year w/ her by my side and it makes me a little bit sad, both because I miss her, and also that I wont have that again with her. I know for sure, that I will find someone again! I will have many memories with her too!!!! 

I am stoked for 2010! In my mind its a clean slate!!!! I can now focus on the future!!!! I can focus on my friends and family! I am very excited for the unknowns in 2010, I just hope the unknowns are good, and not bad, another 2008/2009 this year, its going to be a lot to handle...but, I'm so strong right now, I can take anything!!! 

PS: Sorry for the semi depressing post, it helps me to get my thoughts out on "paper" thanks everyone!